Английский разговорный шутя. 100 анекдотов на все случаи жизни

6.  1. A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster.

2. He wanted to find a very good rooster to service all his hens, and when he told this to the market vendor, the man answered: «I\'ve just the rooster for you.»

3. «Randy here is the greatest rooster you might have ever seen!»

7. So the farmer took Randy back to the farm.

Section 2:

2.  1. He waited to see what would happen.

2. The burglar heard nothing and resumed his search.

3. This was puzzling to the burglar and he was about equally curious and scared.

4. He began working his way toward the voice.

5. This scared the hell out of the burglar.

6. He felt around and found a switch and turned it on.

7. The parrot looked at the burglar and said, «I see you and Jesus sees you.»

3.  1-C, 2-A, 3-Е, 4-B, 5-F, 6-D.

4. 1-C, 2–1, 3-G, 4-J, 5-D, 6-H, 7-A, 8-K, 9-E, 10-L, 11-F, 12-М, 13-В, 14-0, 15-R, 16-S, 17-P, 18-T, 19-Q, 20-U, 21-N.

5.  1. A burglar had broken into a house late at night, in total

darkness.

2. He stopped and listened for a while and heard nothing.

3. He began to look for the room with all the «goodies».

4. He could faintly understand the words.

5. This made the burglar just freeze.

6. The burglar resumed his search.

7. The burglar was equally curious and scared.

6.  burglars

hells

journeys

birds

houses

minutes

rooms

cages

nights

noises

times

parrots

ways

lights

searches

bags

voices

switches

puzzles

tables

Section 3:

2. 1. How can he be dead?

2. «Isn\'t there some other test you can run?»

3. The vet leaves and returns with a case, and a large cat emerges.

4. The cat sniffs around the dog\'s head.

5. After a minute or two the cat returns.

6. I guess you\'re right.

7. At least I did my best.

8. How much do I owe you?

9. All you did was perform a cat scan.

3.  True: 3, 5. False: 1, 2, 4, 6, 7.

4.  1-C, 2-H, 3-D, 4–1, 5-B, 6-F, 7-J, 8-G, 9-A, 10-E, 11-P, 12-Q, 13-M, 14-0, 15-R, 16-K, 17-N, 18-L.

5.  1. Doctor, I think there\'s something wrong with my dog.

2. He hasn\'t moved all day.

3. The vet examined the dog.

4. Are you sure it\'s dead?

5. Isn\'t there some other test you can run?

6. He opened the case and a large cat emerged.

7. The cat sniffed around the dog\'s head.

8. What did you do that costs $230?

6.  1. rooster,

2. feathers,

3. curious,

4. motionless,

5. switch,

6. freeze,

7. service,

8. furious,

9. resume,

10. emerge.

7.  1.The woman visits the vet every other day.

2. The dog has not moved since yesterday.

3. The vet is examining the dog at the moment.

4. Is my dog dead?

5. What test are you running now?

6. «I am leaving at the moment, and will return in a minute,» said the vet.

7. "What are you carrying in this case?" asked the woman. 8. I open this case every morning. 9.Have you ever seen such a cat before?

10. No, I have never seen such a cat in all my life.

11. What is he sniffing around at present?

12. Why is he circling my dog?

13. How much do I owe you?

8.  1. Does the woman go to the vet?

2. Is there anything wrong with my dog?

3. Has he moved all day?

4. Are you afraid my dog is dead?

5. Does the vet leave and return in a moment?

6. Does he open the case?

7. Is a large cat emerging?

8. Is the cat plodding over to the dog?