Английский разговорный шутя. 100 самых смешных анекдотов на лучшие разговорные темы

3. 1-c, 2-d, 3-a, 4-e, 5-b, 6-f.

4. 1-a, 2-Е, 3-c, 4-g, 5-h, 6-b, 7-f, 8-d.

5. 1. after the ceremony, tom asked the minister how much the cost was.

2. Just give me what you think your wife costs.

3. Do you want to have this lady for your wife?

4. Tom looked at his wife, and handed the minister $50.

5. The minister looked at Tom's wife and gave him $42 change.

6. 1. I wish I were an oil-painting.

2. It's time I got married.

3. If only he had told me yesterday how much it cost.

4. I wish you hadn't given me so much money.

5. It's time you gave me 42 dollars change.

6. If only he had looked at her before taking to church.

7. 1. wish, 2. attractive, 3. minister, 4. change, 5. afford, 6. stump, 7. cost, 8. besides, 9. yell, 10. hand.

Section 28:

2. 1. They both worked full time.

2. Housework, he declared, was woman's work.

3. Mary found the children bathed.

4. A load of wash was in the dryer.

5. She was astonished.

6. It turned out that Charley had read a magazine article.

7. Working wives could be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired.

8. They had to do all the housework in addition to holding down a full-time job.

9. Charley helped the kids with their homework.

3. True: 2, 3, 6. False: 1, 4, 5.

4. 1-Е, 2-K, 3-F, 4-C, 5-L, 6-G, 7-A, 8-H, 9-B, 10-I, 11-D, 12-J.

5. 1. He never did anything around the house.

2. Mary arrived home from work to find a load of wash in the washing machine.

3. There was dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers.

4. She immediately wanted to know what was going on.

5. The article said that working wives could be more romantically inclined.

6. In addition she held down a full-time job.

7. She couldn't wait to tell her friends in the office.

8. And what about afterward?

6. 1. if he loved his wife, he would work around the house.

2. If she were not so tired at work, she could be romantically inclined every day.

3. If she had come home earlier, he wouldn't have had time to do all the work about the house.

4. If they had a grandpa or a grandma, they could look after the kids.

5. If he hadn't read this magazine, he might have not cooked dinner.

6. If he hadn't been so tired, this would have worked.

7. 1. Mary does all the housework.

2. The husband bathed the children.

3. Charley has laid the table.

4. What she saw astonished Mary.

5. Mary is folding the laundry herself.

Section 29:

2. 1. Two Yuppettes were shopping.

2. They started to discuss their home lives.

3. Seems like all we do anymore is fight.

4. I've lost 20 pounds.

5. Why don't you just leave him?

6. I'd rather not.

3. 1-F, 2-C, 3-E, 4-B, 5-D, 6-A.

4. 1-D, 2-G, 3-C, 4-E, 5-A, 6-F, 7-B.

5. 1. I've been so upset.

2. Why don't you leave him?

3. Not yet.

4. I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first.

6. 1. I'd rather that you went shopping.

2. We'd better not discuss our home lives.

3. You'd better not fight all the time.

4. I'd rather lose 20 pounds than be fat.

5. You'd better leave him.

6. I'd rather not reply.

Section 30:

2. 1. The man went straight up to the bedroom.

2. He found his wife fast asleep.

3. The horny husband crawled under the sheet.

4. He hurried downstairs for something to eat.

5. How did you get down so fast?

6. She came over early and had complained of having a headache.

7. I can't believe this happened.

3. true: 1, 4, 6. false: 2, 3, 5, 7.

4. 1-c, 2-g, 3-d, 4-f, 5-a, 6-h, 7-1, 8-b, 9-j, 10-e.

5. 1. A man returned home from the night shift.

2. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head.

3. Not to be denied, he crawled under the sheet.

4. He was startled to find breakfast on the table.

5. «Oh my God,» his wife gasped. «That's my mother up there!»

6. I told her to lie down for a while.

7. The wife rushed upstairs.

6. 1. Did the man find anyone in the bedroom?

2. \es, he found someone there.

3. Did he notice anything strange about the woman in bed?

4. No, there was something on her head so he couldn't see the face.

5. His wife was somewhere downstairs.

6. She was preparing something for her husband to eat.

7. Did his wife tell anything to her mother?

8. After he learnt what had happened, he could eat nothing.

7. 1. His wife was used to lying in bed with a sheet pulled over her head.

2. I used to crawl under the sheet.

3. She uses the sheet to cover her face.

4. He is used to having breakfast early in the morning after work.

5. The wife used to make breakfast by seven.

6. I use a frying-pan to cook meat.

7. He will get used to the mother's-in-law presence in the wife's bed.

8. 1. if she hadn't pulled the sheet over her head, he would have recognized her.

2. If he had worked day shift, nothing would have happened.

3. If she had been in the bedroom, she wouldn't have had time to prepare breakfast so quickly.

4. If she hadn't had a headache, she would't have pulled the sheet over her head.

5. If she had spoken, she would have broken the rule which she had set for herself.

9. 1. complain, 2. shift, 3. jerk, 4. deny, 5. laundry, 6. addition, 7. headache, 8. rush, 9. pull, 10. fold.