Английский шутя. Английские и американские анекдоты для начального чтения

Then (затем, потом), the guy on the television closed his eyes (закрыл глаза) and threw himself off the bridge (бросился с моста /to throw-threw-thrown — бросать, кидать/). The second guy hands (вручает, передает) the first guy the money (деньги).

"I can't take your money (я не могу взять /твои/ деньги)," said the first guy. "I cheated you (я надул тебя). The same story (та же самая история) was on the five o'clock news (была в пятичасовых новостях)."

"No, no. Take it (нет-нет, возьми /их/)," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too (я тоже видел пятичасовые новости). I just didn't think (просто я не думал) the guy was dumb enough (настолько туп) to jump again! (чтобы прыгнуть снова)"

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal.

"I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy.

"Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.

Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.

"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news."

"No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"

I'll bet you $10 he'll jump.

A circus owner (владелец цирка) walked into a bar (зашел в бар) to see (посмотреть, увидеть; здесь: и увидел) everyone crowded about a table (все столпились около стола) watching a little show (наблюдая маленькое шоу). On the table (на столе) was an upside down pot (был перевернутый горшок) and a duck tap dancing on it (утка, отбивающая чечетку на нем; tap — легкий стук, слабый удар; подметка, набойка на каблуке; чечетка). The circus owner was so impressed (был настолько впечатлен) that he offered (предложил) to buy the duck from its owner (купить утку у ее владельца). After some wheeling and dealing (после делового разговора; to wheel and deal — обделывать делишки, судить-рядить) they settled for $10,000 (они сошлись на 10000$; to settle — устанавливать) for the duck and the pot (за утку и горшок).

Three days later (три дня спустя) the circus owner runs back (прибегает назад) to the bar in anger (в гневе), "Your duck is a ripoff! (совершенно негодная: «бросовая вещь»; to rip — разрезать, отрывать; to rip off — сдирать) I put (я поставил /to put-put-put — класть, ставить/) him on the pot before a whole audience (перед всей публикой; audience [ˈɔ:djǝns]), and he didn't dance a single step! (совсем не танцевала; не сделала ни единого шага)"

"So? (так, здесь: да?)" asked (спросил) the duck’s former (прежний) owner, "did you remember (вы не забыли; to remember — помнить) to light the candle under the pot? (зажечь свечу под горшком)"

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"

"So?" asked the duck’s former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

It is a ripoff!