Английский шутя. Английские и американские анекдоты для начального чтения

"Look," said the collector, "that cat is dirty and undesirable (грязный и непривлекательный; to desire - /сильно/ желать), but I'm eccentric (но я чудак: «эксцентричен»). I like cats that way (вот таких). I'll raise (подниму) my offer to ten dollars."

"It's a deal (договорились; deal — сделка, соглашение)," said the proprietor (владелец), and pocketed the money (и положил деньги в карман; pocket — карман).

"For that sum (сумма) I'm sure you won't mind (не будете против; to mind — помнить; возражать, быть против /в отрицательных и вопросительных предложениях/) throwing in the saucer (прибавить: «вбросить» и блюдце)," said the connoisseur. "The kitten seems so happy drinking from it (похоже, котенок так счастлив = ему так нравится пить из него)."

"Nothing doing (не пойдет)," said the proprietor firmly (твердо). "That's my lucky (счастливое) saucer. From that saucer, so far this week (только на этой неделе; so far - до сих пор, до настоящего времени) I've sold (я продал /to sell-sold-sold/) 34 cats."

In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery. He strolled into the store and offered two dollars for the cat.

"It's not for sale," said the proprietor.

"Look," said the collector, "that cat is dirty and undesirable, but I'm eccentric. I like cats that way. I'll raise my offer to ten dollars."

"It's a deal," said the proprietor, and pocketed the money.

"For that sum I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer," said the connoisseur. "The kitten seems so happy drinking from it."

"Nothing doing," said the proprietor firmly. "That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week I've sold 34 cats."

It's a deal.

Nothing doing.

My wife invited some people to dinner (моя жена пригласила несколько человек к ужину). At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said (за столом она повернулась к нашей шестилетней дочери и сказала), "Would you like to say the blessing? (хочешь произнести молитву: «благословение»; to bless — благословлять)"

"I wouldn't know what to say (я не знаю, что говорить)," she replied (ответила).

"Just say what you hear Mommy say (просто говори, то, что ты слышишь, что твоя мама говорит)," my wife said (сказала моя жена).

Our daughter bowed her head (склонила голову) and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner? (Боже ты мой: «дорогой Господь», во имя всего святого: «почему на земле», зачем я пригласила всех этих людей на ужин)"

My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," she replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said.

Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

I wouldn't know what to say.

Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?