Before Midnight

Speaking of trained detectives, I was supposed to be one, but I certainly wasn't bragging. I went to my desk and took my gun from the holster and put it hi the drawer, and locked the drawer. In this report I could have omitted any mention of it, but I didn't want to fudge, and I preferred not to skip the way I felt when, after going around armed for several days, I thoughtfully set it up for a homicide right there in the office--and a lot of good my gun did. To hell with it. It would have made it perfect if, soon after ditching it, I had really needed it, but I didn't get even that satisfaction.

I got paper and carbon from another drawer, rolled the typewriter stand around to the rear of Wolfe's desk, sat in Wolfe's chair, and started tapping.

Chapter 20

I would appreciate it if they would call a halt on all their devoted efforts to find a way to abolish war or eliminate disease or run trams with atoms or extend the span of human life to a couple of centuries, and everybody concentrate for a while on how to wake me up in the morning without my resenting it. It may be that a bevy of beautiful maidens in pure silk yellow very sheer gowns, barefooted, singing Oh, What a Beautiful Morning and scattering rose petals over me would do the trick, but I'd have to try it.

That Tuesday morning it was terrible. I had been in bed only three hours, and what woke me was the phone, about the worst way of all. I rolled over, opened my eyes to see the alarm clock at seven-twenty-five, reached, and yanked the damn thing off the cradle.

"Yeah?"

"Good morning, Archie. Can you be down in thirty minutes? I'm breakfasting with Saul, Fred, Orrie, and Bill."

That woke me all right, though it had no effect on the resentment. I told Wolfe I'd try, rolled out, and headed for the bathroom. Usually I yawn around for a couple of minutes before digging in, but there wasn't time. As I shaved I wished I had asked him what kind of a program it was, so I would know what to dress for, but if it had been anything special he would have said so, and I just grabbed the shirt on top.

When I made it to the ground floor, in thirty minutes flat, they were in the dining room with coffee. As I greeted them Fritz came with my orange juice, and I sat and took a healthy swallow.

"This is a hell of a time," I said, still resenting, "to spring a surprise party on me."