Cemetery Girl

Liann refused to sit. As soon as Ryan went inside, she started to pace back and forth. It was like some portion of my nervous energy had been transferred to her.

“I know what he’s doing in there,” she said. “It’s the way the police operate, especially male cops. He’s in there trying to knock all the supports out from under her story. He’s trying to get the whole thing to collapse. That’s his goal, Tom-make no mistake about it. He doesn’t want to believe her. He wants to doubt her.”

“I don’t think so, Liann. This is it. This is real. Once he talks to her, he’ll see it.”

She spun toward me and jabbed her finger toward the door of the Fantasy Club. “The cops are the ones pushing the possibility that Caitlin ran away. You know that, don’t you? It’s shown up in the papers, right? ‘Police department sources say. .’ Maybe it’s not Ryan himself. He may not think that. But cops like to push the runaway theory. It makes it easier on them. It gets them off the hook.” She slowed down and turned away. She seemed to be cooling off a little. “It’s what the police always do. They criminalize the victim. They blame her.”

“But could she have run away? What if what Tracy said in there. .?” I made a futile gesture behind me, toward the club. I couldn’t say it, but Liann knew what I meant.

Caitlin, on her knees in front of that man. . Doesn’t that mean she wanted to be there?

“No, Tom.” Liann came back over and sat next to me, her index finger raised like a stern schoolteacher’s. “You can never think that,” she said. “That’s the way the police think. You know your daughter. Do you think she ran away? Really?”

I shook my head. “No.”

I wished I could get the image out of my head, the picture created by Tracy’s words. But I did want to know him. I wanted to see the face of that man, the one who took Caitlin.

“You can’t waver, Tom. I’ve been telling you that from day one. That’s why you needed to hear that story in there. You can’t forget what this is about.”

“Right,” I said. “It’s about finding Caitlin.”

Liann nodded, but not as vigorously as I would have expected. It seemed like she was holding something back, some other part of the answer that I hadn’t provided. Before I could ask for clarification, my phone rang. I allowed myself to hope, for just a split second, that it was Ryan calling from inside the club, needing me to come in and participate, to hear some key piece of information he’d just uncovered. But the name on the caller ID screen made much more sense.

Abby.

I told Liann.

“Are you going to answer?”

“No.” I silenced the ringing. “She’s going to be mad.” I looked over at Liann. “I skipped out on the service at the cemetery today. I went out for a drink with my brother.”

“Jesus, Tom.”

“It’s worse. I didn’t tell her. I just didn’t show up.”

Liann shook her head. “You have your work cut out for you. Of course, you have this news to tell her. You could call her back and let her know.”

“I’ll tell her when we know more from Ryan,” I said. “Besides, I’m not even sure how much Abby will care about this. She wants to turn the page. It might interrupt her mourning.”

Liann fiddled with the large bracelet on her left wrist. “I’m not a big fan of Abby’s decision to move on, either.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I just think that closure isn’t the best thing in a case like Caitlin’s,” she said. “You don’t want anyone-not the police, not the community-to think you’re ready to move on until you really are. And I don’t think you’re ready to move on, Tom.”

“I guess it was different for you. You knew Elizabeth was really gone.”

“We had a body,” she said. “And a real funeral. Not a memorial or whatever you had today.” She raised her index finger to make the next point. “And we had a conviction. Don’t forget that. We got the guy.”

“Did that really help?” I asked.

Liann kept her finger in the air. “It didn’t hurt,” she said. “It sure as hell didn’t hurt.”

“What about your marriage?” I asked. “I don’t want to be a fucking cliche, you know? The parents of a missing child who can’t keep their marriage alive. How did you two do it?”

She lowered her hand and shook her head. “It’s a long road, Tom,” she said. “A long, long road.”

It took Ryan nearly an hour to come out. An hour, or what felt like twenty twangy thumping songs I didn’t want to hear, and by the time Ryan reemerged I was cursing the first person who’d ever banged on a drum to create music. Liann and I stood up when we saw him.

Ryan’s face was unreadable, obscure. “Tom,” he said, and made a gesture indicating he wanted me to move a little ways off and talk to him alone.

“It’s okay,” I said. “Liann can hear.”

He didn’t look at Liann. “I’d rather talk to you alone.”

“Liann is a friend,” I said. “She knows all about Caitlin’s case. She’s been there from the beginning. I’d like her to hear. I’d like the extra set of ears.”

Ryan’s expression didn’t change, but his eyes shifted so that he considered me with a sideways glance.