Complete Works of Anton Chekhov

A boy of good family, capricious, full of mischief, obstinate, wore out his whole family. The father, an official who played the piano, got to hate him, took him into a corner of the garden, flogged him with considerable pleasure, and then felt disgusted with himself. The son has grown up and is an officer.

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N. courted Z. for a long time. She was very religious, and, when he proposed to her, she put a dried flower, which he had once given to her, into her prayer-book.

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Z: “As you are going to town, post my letter in the letter-box.”

N: (alarmed) “Where? I don’t know where the letter-box is.”

Z: “Will you also call at the chemist’s and get me some naphthaline?”

N: (alarmed) “I’ll forget the naphthaline, I’ll forget.”

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A storm at sea. Lawyers ought to regard it as a crime.

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X. went to stay with his friend in the country. The place was magnificent, but the servants treated him badly, he was uncomfortable, although his friend considered him a big man. The bed was hard, he was not provided with a night shirt and he felt ashamed to ask for one.

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At a rehearsal. The wife:

“How does that melody in Pagliacci go? Whistle it.”

“One must not whistle on the stage; the stage is a temple.”

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He died from fear of cholera.

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As like as a nail is to a requiem.

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A conversation on another planet about the earth a thousand years hence. “Do you remember that white tree?”

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Anakhthema!

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Zigzagovsky, Oslizin, Svintchulka, Derbaliguin.

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A woman with money, the money hidden everywhere, in her bosom and between her legs….

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All that procedure.

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Treat your dismissal as you would an atmospheric phenomenon.

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A conversation at a conference of doctors. First doctor: “All diseases can be cured by salt.” Second doctor, military: “Every disease can be cured by prescribing no salt.” The first points to his wife, the second to his daughter.

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The mother has ideals, the father too; they delivered lectures; they built schools, museums, etc. They grow rich. And their children are most ordinary; spend money, gamble on the Stock Exchange.

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N. married a German when she was seventeen. He took her to live in Berlin. At forty she became a widow and by that time spoke Russian badly and German badly.

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The husband and wife loved having visitors, because, when there were no visitors they quarreled.

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It is an absurdity! It is an anachronism!

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“Shut the window! You are perspiring! Put on an overcoat! Put on goloshes!”

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If you wish to have little spare time, do nothing.

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On a Sunday morning in summer is heard the rumble of a carriage — people driving to mass.

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For the first time in her life a man kissed her hand; it was too much for her, it turned her head.

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What wonderful names: the little tears of Our Lady, warbler, crows-eyes.

[Footnote 1: The names of flowers.]

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A government forest officer with shoulder straps, who has never seen a forest.

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A gentleman owns a villa near Mentone; he bought it out of the proceeds of the sale of his estate in the Tula province. I saw him in Kharkhov to which he had come on business; he gambled away the villa at cards and became a railway clerk; after that he died.

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At supper he noticed a pretty woman and choked; a little later he caught sight of another pretty woman and choked again, so that he did not eat his supper — there were a lot of pretty women.

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A doctor, recently qualified, supervises the food in a restaurant. “The food is tinder the special supervision of a doctor.” He copies out the chemical composition of the mineral water; the students believe him — and all is well.

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He did not eat, he partook of food.

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A man, married to an actress, during a performance of a play in which his wife was acting, sat in a box, with beaming face, and from time to time got up and bowed to the audience.

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Dinner at Count O.D.’s. Fat lazy footmen; tasteless cutlets; a feeling that a lot of money is being spent, that the situation is hopeless, and that it is impossible to change the course of things.

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A district doctor: “What other damned creature but a doctor would have to go out in such weather?” — he is proud of it, grumbles about it to every one, and is proud to think that his work is so troublesome; he does not drink and often sends articles to medical journals that do not publish them.

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