Confessor: Chainfire Trilogy Part 3

Nicci watched their shadows rotate around them as they passed another torch. "I'm not sure I know what you're talking about."

"Only a woman who loves him, who stands at his side, who is trusted implicitly, can be the kind of woman who can be a positive influence."

"I do love him and I will stand at his side."

"You need to do more than stand at his side, Nicci, to be the woman who can have the influence needed."

Nicci glanced over out of the corner of her eye. "And what influence is it, exactly, that you think is needed?"

"A child needs the strength of a father as well as the nurturing of a mother." She held up her first two fingers pressed tightly together. "Male and female working together shape us, define us, guide us. In this it is no different. A man needs the feminine element in his life if he is to be a proper ruler to guide the growth of mankind.

"A powerful general without a woman can fight battles and win wars. Jagang can crush those in his way, but he can do nothing more than that- nothing worthwhile, anyway.

"Our side, our cause, is different. It takes more not only to win such a war as we face, but the future that we hope to be the result. Richard doesn't simply need someone who loves him, but someone he can love. Living by the sword alone is not enough. He needs that investment of his own emotion. He needs to give love as well as receive it."

Nicci didn't want to go down this line of argument again. "I am not that woman."

"You can be," Ann pressed in a soft voice.

"I'm sure that Kahlan is a woman who deserves Richard's love. I am not. I have done terrible things, things which I can never undo. I've walked a very dark path. All that I can do is to fight to stop the evil ideas for which I once fought. If I can do that, then I can earn redemption in my own heart. But I could never deserve Richard's love. Kahlan is that kind of woman. I am not."

"Nicci, Kahlan is not an option for us. It is pointless to frame it as a choice between you and Kahlan being there for him; she can no longer fill that role. Chainfire took that woman. Only you can fill the role, now. You must marry Richard and be that woman for him."

"Marry him!" Nicci let out a brief, bitter laugh as she shook her head. "Richard doesn't love me. He would have no reason to want to marry me."

"Did you learn nothing at the Palace of the Prophets?" Ann clicked her tongue impatiently. "How did you ever get to be a Sister?"

Nicci threw up her hands. "Now what are you talking about?"

"Men have needs." Ann shook a finger at Nicci. "Attend to them with all your talent as a woman-as the beautiful woman the Creator made you-and he will want more. He will marry you to get it."

Nicci wanted to slap the woman. Instead, she said, "Richard isn't like that. He understands that love is what makes passion between a man and a woman meaningful."

"In the end that is what he will have. You would merely be helping that meaningful passion come to be. A man's heart will follow his needs. Are you so backward as to think that all couples marry for love? The wisdom of elders often creates a better match. In the absence of Kahlan, that is what we must do.

"It is your job to urge him into your bed and show him what you can do for him, what he is missing, what he needs. If you tend to his passions, his heart will be yours and he will, in the end, have that meaningful passion."

Nicci could feel her face going scarlet. She couldn't believe they were having this conversation. She had to change the subject but she couldn't seem to find her voice.

Nicci knew that she had Richard's friendship and trust. To do as Ann suggested would violate that friendship and void that trust. Richard was safe in her friendship. The sincerity and shelter of Nicci's friendship in some ways qualified her for his love, but to do as Ann suggested would breach the trust of his friendship and in so doing disqualify her from ever really being worthy of it.

"You must not allow this chance to pass you by, child-to pass us by."

Nicci seized Ann's arm and pulled her to a halt. "Pass us by?"

Ann nodded. "You are our link to Richard."

Nicci narrowed her eyes. "What link?"

Ann's face tightened, looking more and more like the prelate Nicci remembered. "The link those of us who teach young wizards need to have with such men."

"Richard is our leader-not by birth, but by his own ability and force of will to see this through. He may not have set out to become the Lord Rahl, to become the one to lead us in this war, but along the way he grew into that role. He decided that life meant enough to him that he had to fight for his right to live it as he saw fit. He has inspired others who feel the same. It is only because of that that we have made it this far.

"He is not a boy at the Palace of the Prophets with a Rada'Han around his neck. He is his own man."