Джейн Эйр / Jane Eyre

And now, I realized, I could truly thank them for saving my life, and for the unending kindness and hospitality they had shown me. What did I want with twenty thousand pounds? It was far more than anybody needed. I resolved to split the inheritance between us all, so that John Eyre’s four relatives would have five thousand pounds each. It would be enough to keep us for the rest of our lives.

I told St. John of my plan at once, and asked him to write to Diana and Mary to tell them that, if they wished, they could stop working and come home. At first he protested, saying that our uncle had left the money to me, and so it was mine.

“Don’t you realize what twenty thousand pounds could do for you?” he asked. “You could buy a fine house, and become a lady of standing in society.”

“But I don’t want to be a lady of standing in society,” I said. “I would rather live at Moor House with my cousins, and stay the way I am.”

“Will you still be the schoolmistress?”

I reflected. I knew I wanted to study, and travel one day, and have time for myself. So I said: “I will stay at the school until Christmas, to give you time to find another teacher.”

And so a lawyer was sent for; he wrote to uncle Eyre’s solicitors and, within a few weeks, St. John, Diana, Mary and I had five thousand pounds each to our names.

In early December, I shut up the school. Another teacher had been found to start in the new year, and I said farewell to my students. I eased my conscience by giving the school a gift of money, left my cottage tidy, and returned to Moor House.

My plan was to clean the house from top to bottom, and prepare it beautifully for Diana and Mary’s return. They had given up their posts, and were to arrive home a week before Christmas. I spent a little of my unexpected wealth on new carpets and furniture. Then I put on an apron and scrubbed and polished every inch of the house until it sparkled. With two days to spare, I sent for Hannah from the vicarage, and we spent every moment baking Christmas cakes, pies and puddings, building fires in every grate, hanging up decorations and setting out candles.

When at last the evening of their arrival came, Hannah, St. John and I waited outside to greet their carriage. How happy I was when it finally drew up outside the door and Mary and Diana climbed out, kissing me and their brother and welcoming me as their long-lost cousin. It was the happiest Christmas I had ever known.

St. John, of course, did not join in with the celebrations quite so cheerfully as his sisters. No amount of money would dissuade him from his ambition to be a missionary, and his mind was mostly occupied with his plans. He meant to set off some time in the coming year.

Through the spring, Mary, Diana and I lived at Moor House, while St. John and Hannah returned to the vicarage, although they visited us often. I did not plan to spend my whole life as a lady of leisure, but what a relief it was, just for those few months, to spend my time as I pleased. I drew, and painted, and walked on the moors, and enjoyed my cousins’ company every day. And, helped by Diana, I began to learn German, which I was sure would be useful when I was ready to see a little more of the world.

One evening, as Diana, Mary and I studied in the drawing room, St. John came in and asked me how my knowledge of German was proceeding.

“She is doing very well,” said Diana. “She has a natural aptitude for languages.”

“Well then, Jane,” St. John declared, “I would like you to stop learning German, and start learning Hindustani.”

“Hindustani? Me?” I said. “Why?”

“What can you mean by it, brother?” asked Mary.

“My plans are settled,” he replied, “and I will leave for India soon. I am learning Hindustani myself, but I need some help with it. I need a study partner. I have considered asking each of you, but I think Jane is best suited to the task.”

Diana laughed. “Well, it’s just as well you didn’t ask me,” she said. “I wouldn’t be persuaded to learn Hindustani for a moment – it’s far too hard!”

“Of course it is,” said Mary. “Don’t let him bully you into such a thing, Jane!”

But something about St. John’s cold eyes, and the stern way he spoke, made me feel I had to obey him. I didn’t know how to refuse.

And so we began studying Hindustani together. Several times a week, when he was not busy with his parish work, he would come up to Moor House with his books, and oblige me to join him for a lesson. I was good at languages, and I had enjoyed German, but now I felt challenged beyond my abilities. Yet St. John was so strict I didn’t dare to say no.

Chapter 32

Did spending so much time with St. John Rivers make me forget Mr. Rochester? Oh no.

Since my fortunes had changed, I thought of him more and more. Although I knew I must not visit him, I longed to know if he was well, if he was happy. And so I had decided to write to Mrs. Fairfax, in confidence, to ask how things were at Thornfield.