Early Warning

AFTERWARD, when Tim thought back to those weeks before he went into the army, all he remembered was sleeping. He could have also remembered drinking, but it seemed in retrospect as though he were drunk with sleep, not asleep with drink. His roommates studied (he sometimes opened his eyes and saw them huddled over their desks, trapped in a circle of light). They took their exams (he sometimes rolled over as they came back into the room). Brian even made his bed for him and picked stuff up off the floor. But then he had flunked out, and there he was, finally awake, sitting in the living room at home, and his dad was staring at him. His dad was also talking, but he barely heard that. What he really paid attention to was the disbelieving stare. Yes, he had signed up, since he was going to be drafted anyway, and, no, he could not think of a single other way to occupy his time. Boot camp, a training school, deployment — no, he could not imagine Vietnam. He didn’t read the papers, he didn’t know what he was “getting himself into,” but who was his dad to say a word against it? Didn’t he, Arthur Brinks Manning, promote the war all the time? Hadn’t he hit the roof when he found out that Mom went to that big antiwar protest in Washington? Hadn’t his own father been a career military officer?

Then Dad said, “I want some sense of purpose, Tim. Some idea that you know what you are doing instead of just putting one foot in front of the other!”

Tim gave what he considered a perfectly logical reply: “Enlisting rather than waiting to be drafted has a sense of purpose.”

“What do you want to do over there?”

“Don’t they always tell you what to do?”

Dad blew out some air, trying, in his usual way, not to lose his temper completely; Dean walked past out in the hall and shouted, “You’re an idiot!”

“Fuck you!” yelled Tim. Then he jumped up, felt in his pocket for his keys, and headed out the door. After that, the days were a blur of snow and rain, until he got to Fort Bliss, where the weather was hot all day and cold all night and the landscape was as flat as a frying pan except where it was mountainous, dry, and crumbly. No rain. One kid on the bus, from Dallas, said that it only rained in El Paso if the temperature was over a hundred, and Tim couldn’t tell whether he was joking or not.

The screaming began immediately. Uniformed drill sergeants in hats leaned into them, and screamed in their ears to run, run, move it. Tim ran, while trying to carry his duffel bag. He who had never been scared before was, he had to admit, a little scared, especially when the duffel bag fell off his shoulder and hit Sergeant Wheeler, who then chased him nearly across the parking lot, screaming at the top of his lungs.

They were chased into the barracks and told to claim their beds. Tim claimed one of the upper bunks. The kid below him was named Harry Pine, from Waterloo, Iowa. Tim did not mention the farm in Denby. The barracks was shaped like a giant H. A squad of ten or twelve recruits lived in each leg of the H. The latrine and the showers were in the crossbar — no curtains, no walls. The platoon, which was what the four squads were called, had kids of all kinds — black, Mexican, white, even Chinese, one guy named Jim Song.

Tim had his head shaved. He was yelled at by drill sergeants. They ran, they marched, they shot weapons (never guns) at targets, they ran some more, they carried packs, they ate, they yelled (but only “Yes! Sir!” and “No! Sir!”). They were yelled at, they spoke when spoken to, and looked where they were told to look. One night, when Tim was sound asleep, he heard just the fragment of a shout, and then found himself pummeled from below and launched out of his bunk by the long legs of Harry Pine, who was having a nightmare. He landed on his ass, and it hurt to run, run, move it the next day, but he ran anyway.