Frog

At the time I was under the impression that Gugu was so caught up in arranging the wedding that she’d forgotten about Wang Dan. I’d thought she might have relented a bit and would use the wedding as an excuse to let enough time to pass for Wang Dan to have her baby. I’d soon realise, though, that Gugu’s sense of loyalty to her work had taken on maniacal proportions. She was obsessed with carrying out her tasks. I had no reason to doubt her good faith in bringing Little Lion and me together, for she was convinced that we were meant to be a couple. But her extravagant preparations for our wedding, her release of Chen Bi and his daughter from detention, and her announcement that the villagers no longer had to search for Wang Dan were all part of a smokescreen designed to lessen the vigilance of Wang Dan and whoever was hiding her. For Gugu it was a two-birds-with-one-stone strategy. What she hoped to achieve was to see a follower who was like her own daughter be married to her nephew and have a place to call home, and, at the same time, for Wang Dan to be taken into custody and the criminal foetus in her belly taken out and destroyed before it was too late. Using this sort of language to describe Gugu’s work may seem inappropriate, but I can’t come up with anything better.

On the morning before the wedding ceremony, I went to Mother’s grave, as custom dictated, to burn some ‘happy money’; ostensibly, I guess, to notify her spirit and invite her to the ceremony. After I lit the paper, a tiny whirlwind rose up and carried the ash in circles around the head of the grave. Of course I knew this was easily explained by laws of physics, but it unnerved me nonetheless. Mother’s tottering image floated in my head and her wise, simple, meaningful words rang in my ears. Tears filled my eyes. I wondered what she would think about this marriage if she could talk.

The whirlwind abruptly left Mother’s gravesite and moved over to the grassy area at the head of Renmei’s grave. At that moment an oriole in a peach tree released a long cheerless call that nearly tore my insides apart. Peaches had ripened on the vast grove of trees; the two gravesites were in our family grove. I picked two red-tipped peaches, laid one before Mother’s grave and threaded my way through the trees to Renmei’s grave with the other. As I was leaving the house, Father said, Don’t forget to burn some paper for her too.

I haven’t had time yet, Renmei, I said silently, and I’m so sorry. But I won’t forget you, I’ll remember all the good things about you. Little Lion is a good person who will take good care of Yanyan. I won’t stay with her if she doesn’t.

After burning some paper at the head of her grave, I went up, laid down a sheet of paper, weighted it down, and set the second peach on it. Renmei, I said silently, though I know you are unhappy, I ask you with all my heart to come to my wedding with Mother. I’ll put four steamed buns, some dishes of food, and that treat you thought at first had a medicinal taste, but then got addicted to — chocolate with liquor in the middle — on the altar table in the central room. The dead deserve our respect. Please enjoy the food!

On my way home from the graveyard, the path was lined with knee-high weeds; rainwater filled the ditches. Pear groves stretched south all the way to the Black Water River and west to the Jiao River. Growers were picking the ripe fruit, as three-wheeled tractors moved quickly down the broad road.

Wang Gan appeared in front of me, blocking my way, as if he’d popped out of the ground. He was standing there in a military uniform that was neither new nor old — the thought struck me that it was the uniform I’d given him the year before — and a fresh haircut. He was clean-shaven. Though slim as ever, he seemed especially energetic, having done away with his old slovenly look. His spirited appearance was comforting, though I couldn’t shake an uneasy feeling.

Wang Gan… I tell you, in fact…

Wang Gan held his hands out and smiled, exposing his yellowed teeth. Xiaopao, he said, you don’t have to explain, I understand, I really do, and I congratulate you both.

Old friend… all sorts of thoughts crammed my mind. I reached out to shake his hand.

He took a step backward. I’ve awakened from a dream. What they call love is really a sickness, and I’ve been cured of mine.

That’s great. Truth is, you and Little Lion weren’t a good match. All you have to do is pull yourself together and you can accomplish something big. And when that happens, you’ll be able to choose an even more outstanding girl.

I’m a worthless man, and I owe you an apology. Did you see the ashes on Wang Renmei’s grave? I’m the one who burned spirit paper for her. If I hadn’t reported her, Yuan Sai wouldn’t be in prison and your wife and baby would still be alive. I’m a murderer.

You’re not to blame for any of that, I said.