Frog

I wanted to make myself feel better with some grand justification, like ‘reporting an illegal pregnancy is the responsibility of all citizens’ or ‘it’s all right to sacrifice family for the motherland’, but they didn’t make me feel better at all. I wasn’t enlightened; I did it for my own selfish desires, in order to win Little Lion’s heart. Because of that I developed terrible insomnia, and the minute I shut my eyes I could see Renmei coming with bloody hands to gouge out my heart… I don’t think I have many days to live…

You’re thinking too much, Wang Gan, I said. You did nothing wrong. You’re not superstitious, so you know that when a person dies, that’s the end of it. But even if a person’s spirit lived on, Renmei would not hound you. She was a good woman of pure heart.

She absolutely was a good woman, Wang Gan agreed. And that makes me feel even worse. Don’t waste your sympathy on me, Xiaopao, and I don’t deserve to be forgiven. I’ve been waiting for you today to ask a favour…

What is it, my friend?

Please have Little Lion tell Gugu that when Wang Dan climbed out of the well that day, she came straight to my house. She is, after all, my sister, and when she begged me to save her life and that of the child in her belly, even if I had a heart as cold and hard as steel, I couldn’t help but be moved. I put her in a manure basket and covered her with dry wheat stalks and a hempen sack. Then I tied the basket to the back of my bicycle and rode out of the village. I was stopped and questioned by your aunt’s hidden sentry, Qin He, at the head of the village. Your aunt really was born at the wrong time and engaged in the wrong occupation. She’d have been better suited to leading troops into battle. Of all the people I could have encountered, Qin He, your aunt’s running dog, was the worst. I was willing to give up anyone for Little Lion, and he was ready to do the same for your aunt. He stopped me and asked where I was going. We’d seen each other in front of the hospital many times but had never exchanged a word; and yet, I could tell that he viewed me as a friend, since we suffered from the same malady. I’d come to his aid when he’d run afoul of Gao Men and Lu Huahua outside the Supply and Marketing Co-op restaurant. Gao, Lu, Qin, Wang — he was the Qin, I was the Wang — Northeast Gaomi Township’s four morons came together on the street that day and put on a monkey show for the bystanders. You may not know it, my friend, but when someone is called a fool, even when he isn’t one, it’s amazingly liberating. I got down off my bicycle and stared at Qin He.

You must be going to market to sell a pig.

That’s right, a pig.

I didn’t see a thing.

He let me go. Two morons were of one mind.

Please tell Little Lion that I rode my sister to Jiaozhou and put her on a highway bus to Yantai, where she was to buy a ticket for a boat to Dalian, and from there take a train to Harbin. I’m sure you know that Chen’s mother was from Harbin, and he has relatives there. She took plenty of money with her, and she’s very smart. You know how clever Chen Bi is. They had this all planned ahead of time. It’s been thirteen days, and Wang Dan has gotten to where she was going. Your aunt’s hand isn’t big enough to cover the heavens. She can have her way with things at the commune, but not in the rest of the world. My sister is seven months pregnant, so by the time your aunt finds her, the child will already have arrived. So your aunt can give up on this one.

Then why do you want me to tell them?

It’s the only way I can gain salvation, and the only thing I can ask of you.

All right, I said.

7

I really am a weak-willed person.

After marrying Little Lion, I should have lit a red candle and sat alone in front of it till daybreak as a means of expressing my remorse to Renmei and letting her know I missed her. But I only sat there till midnight before going to bed and embracing Little Lion.

It had rained heavily the day I married Renmei; a downpour also struck on the day I married Little Lion. Lightning crackled with blinding blue-white streaks, followed by deafening thunder and a cloudburst. The sound of sluicing water came from all directions; wet winds carrying the smell of mud and the stink of rotten fruit poured into the house through the windows. The candle sputtered briefly and then went out. That struck fear into me. A bolt of lightning lit up the sky for several seconds, time enough for me to see the bright lights in Little Lion’s eyes. It turned her face a golden yellow. The blast of thunder sounded as if it were out in our yard and carried a scorched odour into the house. Little Lion cried out in fear and I held her in my arms.