Funny Children's Stories. Bilingual Edition

Today, as expected, Gleb came to our yard, wearing his old shoes. He told me that since his shoes were so worn out, they did not hurt him much anymore. But on his heels, he could still feel small lumps under the skin. And he said he was worried that he would have those lumps for the rest of his life.

In our yard, if anyone has a wound, we always discuss whether or not it will leave him with a scar for life. I told Gleb that I had the exact same thing. And that I knew, from my personal experience, that it was not so terrible. These lumps should disappear by themselves in about a year if he never wears tight shoes again. Someone else from our yard also confirmed that the lumps should disappear by themselves. If not in a year then definitely in two or three years — they should disappear.

But Gleb and I did not have a chance to discuss his heels in more detail because suddenly someone showed up in the yard with a real volleyball.

How he came to have a real volleyball, he did not tell us. He just sat on a bench with his volleyball and did not let it leave his hands. He felt bad for his ball. He was worried that his ball might get damaged. We kept asking him to let us play with his ball. And finally he agreed. And the whole day we played soccer not with a tin can but with a real volleyball.

Though when we started to play with this ball, it kept flying away. And we had to wait for someone to bring it back. We spent more time waiting than running around. And since we were not running around but just standing and waiting, it looked more like we were resting than playing a game.

And we all recalled how, once, we played with a small rubber ball. There was probably a little hole in it. Because it was only half inflated. That was why we were able to get it from one of the girls. And that was also why this ball would not fly when we kicked it. It would just plop to the ground like something dead.

That was the most suitable ball for our soccer. But then the girl took her ball back. And we continued to play with a tin can.

Today we had to surround ourselves with little kids, so that they could pass the ball back to us. But you can expect little help from little ones.

If, for example, one of them runs after the ball and catches it, he will not just throw it back to us. Because he knows that he will not be able to throw it that far. So he runs and puffs back with the ball. But as he gets closer, he does not throw the ball either. Otherwise he will look like a girl, who cannot kick the ball with her foot[15].

And he does not want everyone to think that he is like a girl, who cannot kick the ball with her foot. So this kid puts the ball down on the ground. But he cannot just kick the ball either. He needs to take at least a few steps back to kick with some force.

So he takes a few steps back. But the ball starts to roll away. Meanwhile we are just standing and waiting.

At that point it occurs to the kid that the ball needs to be placed so that it does not roll. And again he runs up and kicks it. But when one of the little kids kicks a ball, it can fly in any direction.

So it turned out that it would be better if one of us would just run for the ball himself. But we still waited for the kids to do it. Because, first, it was very funny to watch them. And second, we let the little kids get used to the ball too. We did not mind.

That night I was telling my parents how funny it was to watch the little kid attempt to kick the ball. And Mom said that maybe it was the first time ever that this little kid had kicked a ball. And Dad noted that the important thing was that it should not be his last time.

And I saw that Mom was not at all pleased with Dad’s comment. She gave him THE look and told me that Dad hoped that the father of the little kid would, one day, buy him a ball. And Dad agreed that he really did hope that the father of the little kid could, some day, buy him a ball[16]. But I felt that Mom was still not satisfied with Dad’s comment.

And she said, “For all your Aesopian language and your big mouth…” and then stopped for a second. But I continued for her, “… you will end up in prison someday.”

And Mom and Dad started to laugh. Because it was very funny.

Мой друг Глеб Парамонов

Мой друг Глеб Парамонов учится не очень-то хорошо. Но и не плохо. Хотя, я думаю, он мог бы быть одним из лучших у нас. Но ему в школе ничего не интересно. И он часто мне на это жалуется.

И вот только сегодня он вдруг признался мне, что ему нравятся уроки физики. Он сказал, что он любит рассказы нашего физика про разные изобретения и открытия. Глебу очень нравится, как физик объясняет, каким образом изобретателям приходят в голову интересные мысли.

И мы с Глебом стали вспоминать, как физик рассказывал нам о русских учёных и изобретателях. Он говорил, что они очень наблюдательны. И это, мол, позволило именно русским сделать все важнейшие открытия и изобретения.