Funny Children's Stories. Bilingual Edition

And then, two years ago, before we were merged with the girls, my mom once told me that she met Lisa's mother. And Lisa's mother told my mom that at every school desk, a girl would be sitting with a boy. And that Lisa, when she found out about it, said that she wanted to sit only with me. And my mom sounded very indifferent when she told me that.

For some reason, whenever I come home with wet feet or wet back, Mom always makes a huge deal about it. Though I come home with something wet nearly every day. But as for Lisa’s comment, my mom reported it in such a casual manner as if she was talking about some event that happened every day. In the same tone as she would say that Lisa had a runny nose.

It turned out that when my mom was talking to Lisa’s mom, someone else’s mom was there too. And since someone else's mom was there, shortly afterwards everyone found out about that conversation. And everyone began to say things about me and Lisa. And the things they said were ridiculous and stupid.

And then, two years ago, when we came to school together with girls for the first time, we were all asked with whom we wanted to sit at the same desk. And Gleb said that he wanted to sit with me. And I then said that I wanted to sit with Gleb.

So Gleb and I again sat together at the same school desk. And everyone sat like that: boys with boys, and girls with girls. And Gleb ran around the school, telling everyone how happy he was not to have to sit next to a girl. To this day, we still sit this way: boys with boys, girls with girls. To this day, boys and girls never talk to each other.

Only Lisa and I talk sometimes. Therefore, silly rumors still continue to go around about Lisa and me.

Because of that, I started to think about Lisa all the time. I start to think about her as soon as I wake up. And at school I think only about her. I think about her when I come home from school. And I think about her only because of all that ridiculous and stupid gossip. And when I try to sleep, I also think about Lisa. Even though I do not want to think about her at all.

So yesterday evening, when I saw Lisa go to the trolley bus stop, I also rode out to the street and began to chase the trolley. Because I wanted to surprise her by how far from my house I can ride.

When Lisa got off the trolley, I rode over to her and asked, “Working?” But Lisa did not reply and only slightly shrugged in disapproval. And when Lisa shrugged, I became very ashamed. And I started to scold myself for what I did.

I was in a bad mood all Sunday. On Monday, I tried not to bump into Lisa. Because I thought that she might shrug again and say something unpleasant to me.

But on Tuesday, I finally bumped into her on the school staircase. And suddenly she said, “What if I tell your mother how far you go on your bike?”

I did not know what to reply to her. I just shrugged indifferently. But still, as soon as she said this, I felt very happy. I do not think I have ever been happier in my life. And I was very surprised at how much my mood could change so drastically because of nothing. I mean, that it could be my best mood ever. Well, maybe just once before, I was in a better mood. When my parents bought me a bike.

Симфонический оркестр

Сегодня целый день шёл дождь. Я пришёл из школы и решил сделать поскорее все уроки. Но когда я уже всё сделал, дождь продолжал идти. А под дождём гулять не будешь. Можно было бы поискать кого-нибудь по подъездам. Но в подъездах жизнь скучная. Там либо кошек мучают, либо дымовушки зажигают, либо свечки вешают.

Ну, кошек я терпеть не могу. Но гоняться за ними по подъездам мне совершенно не интересно. Хотя от них вреда, конечно, много. У нас в подъезде всегда кошачьей мочой воняет.

Правда, это так все говорят. А я думаю, что не только кошачьей мочой воняет. Это очень даже может быть, что пьяные заходят в наш подъезд. После них мочой и воняет.

А дымовушка — это вообще-то страшное дело. Делается она из обыкновенной старой киноплёнки. Только нужно эту киноплёнку куда-нибудь плотно затолкать, чтобы не было доступа воздуха.

А потом её надо поджечь и сразу же затушить. Тогда она начинает ужасно дымить. И дым выходит так сильно, что твоя дымовушка начинает летать. Она бьётся в стены, взлетает к потолку и дымит. Запах у этого дыма ужасно тошнотворный. И вот из-за этого запаха я связываться с дымовушками не люблю.

А вот свечки в подъезде я вешал. Хотя после того, как я научился это делать, стало уже не интересно. Тем более что жалко всё-таки подъезд без толку портить.

А сначала я даже не мог себе представить, как это можно свечку подвесить. Я и не думал, что это может у меня получиться.