Girlology: A Girl's Guide to Stuff that Matters

There are a lot of ways to safely explore your body’s feelings and pleasures besides having sex. There’s other stuff, like “petting” or making out, before “going all the way.” Girls with Girl Power need to know about the basics of sex, but they also know that Empowered Girls wait until they are mature enough to deal with all the responsibilities and consequences that come with sex. They don’t have sex before they KNOW they are ready.

The actual “activity” of sexual intercourse can sound sort of icky and awkward, but in the right relationship, when there is love and trust and comfort, it is not icky at all. Bear with us while we explain a few details. (Here comes the birds and the bees part you’ve been waiting for! )

Birds and the Bees?What do they have to do with sex? Great question. It all goes back to Victorian times when sex was never mentioned, and people were so uptight about sex that they made up an explanation for reproduction based on plants in nature. The birds were part of plant reproduction because they spread seeds. They would eat berries and seeds, then spread them as they left their droppings throughout nature. That’s the birds’ part. The bees then were responsible for helping things in nature to grow by pollinating them. So the Victorian families gave that explanation about seeds and pollination to help explain sex to their “children.” That explanation usually occurred on the eve of their weddings. Talk about some confusion!! Aren’t you glad we’re just getting this sex stuff all out in the open?

Foreplay

When a couple is sexually excited, they may kiss and touch each other. It feels good physically and emotionally. Usually, their hearts beat fast, they start breathing more heavily and they may also get sweaty. As a man gets sexually excited, he will get an erection. As the woman gets sexually excited, her vagina will make extra liquid (it’s called lubrication) that makes the vagina more slippery. The vagina will also start to expand some and become more elastic or stretchy. Her nipples and clitoris may also get hard or erect. All this excitement and touching or caressing is called foreplay. It prepares the man’s body and the woman’s body for sexual intercourse, but sexual intercourse doesn’t HAVE to happen just because there is sexual excitement.

Now to That Penis-in-Vagina Thing

Sex can happen in lots of different “positions,” but usually the woman is on the bottom and the man is on the top and they are facing each other. The man’s erect penis is inserted into the woman’s vagina. It seems like that might take some awkward positioning, but we fit together in this way like two puzzle pieces. Once the penis is inside her vagina, the couple will move their bodies to make the penis move in and out or back and forth because it feels good for both of them. The in-and-out movement feels good on the penis for the man and also feels good on the vagina and clitoris for the woman. The closeness also feels good emotionally if both are relaxed and wanting to do what they’re doing.

As the sex continues, the excitement builds to the point where an orgasm may occur. For a man, an orgasm is when ejaculation occurs. Before ejaculation, there is a small amount of fluid (called pre-ejaculate or pre-cum) that leaks out of the penis and may contain sperm. So sperm can be present even if ejaculation has not occurred. And remember, it only takes ONE sperm to get pregnant. After the male ejaculates, the penis gets soft again, and he can’t have another orgasm until he gets another erection.

For a woman, orgasm is less obvious on the outside (and it doesn’t usually involve all the crazy screaming you see on TV or in the movies), but she feels a strong and pleasurable physical reaction through her whole body. Some women can have more than one orgasm during sex, but most don’t.

We’re making it sound pretty unexciting and scientific here, but sex, in the right setting with the right person, is an amazing and wonderful connection. Don’t think from this simple description that it isn’t really special.

Like a Virgin