Girls of Riyadh

“Aha? Keep going. What else could I be? There isn’t a single sign you haven’t mentioned. And the whole time, you’re acting as though you know about sign-reading, but you’re just faking it!”

“Okay, I’ve got it now, this is really it. You’re either Aries or Sagittarius.”

“This is really it? That’s the final word?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Hmmm, okayyy…”

“What do you mean, hmmm, okayyy?”

“I mean, I don’t want to let you go down to defeat when I say that I’m an…Aquarius!”

“Ya! Really! From the very beginning I was saying Aquarius, but then it was you who got me all confused!”

“I got you confused! Wait a minute! Wasn’t it you who kept changing your mind?”

“I hate you. C’mon, let’s go. We’ve got a round to do.”

“Fine, so when are you going to tell me what an Aquarius is supposed to be like?”

“Oh, I’ll tell you right this minute. Aquarius men are really awful, they’re snobbish and they think they’re always cool. And the worst part is, some Libra girls make it easy for them!”

“So they’re the lucky ones.”

“Who? Aquarius men?”

“No! The ones they don’t look so bad to. You lucky one!”

When she got home that day, the first thing Lamees did was search her horoscope books to discover the degree of compatibility between Libra and Aquarius. She found that in one book it reached 85 percent and in another it didn’t get any better than 50 percent. She decided to put her faith in the first one. She came to a decision: this time around she would be smart and use her wiles. She would make Nizar fall into her trap. She would prove to Gamrah that it was possible for a girl to dream about the guy she wanted and then, with a little effort and patience, to get him.

That night she didn’t sleep until after the dawn call to prayer, the first of the five prayers, sounded. She stayed up filling her journal with war plans and rules of engagement that she vowed not to break. She felt she needed them for the days to come in case that heart of hers threatened to stray off the path. That was her usual way: to write down her thoughts and ideas on paper so that she would stick to her decisions.

In her journal, she wrote down everything: her general observations about men; the various pitfalls and misfortunes suffered by herself and her girlfriends and relatives; and snippets of advice she had heard or read at some time or other that remained perched in her mind waiting for the right moment. All of her instructions to herself began with “I will not…”

I will not allow myself to love him until I sense his love toward me.

I will not become attached to him before he proposes!

I will not let go of my guard and open up to him and I will not tell him about myself; I will stay vague and mysterious (men prefer that in women, an open-book girl is no challenge to them); and I will not let him feel that he is aware of every detail going on in my life no matter what the urge is to spill out everything!

I will not be Sadeem. I will not be Gamrah. I will not even be Michelle.

I will NEVER be the first to get in touch, and I will not answer too many of his phone calls.

I will not dictate to him what he must do, the way every other woman does with every other man.

I will not expect him to change for my sake, and I will not try to change him. If he doesn’t appeal to me with all of his flaws, then there is no good reason for us to stay together.

I will not give up any of my rights and I will not overlook anything wrong that he does (because he must not get used to that).

I will not confess to him my love (if I fall in love with him) before he tells me he loves me first.

I will not change myself for his sake.

I will not shut my eyes or ears to any signs of danger.

I will not live in a hopeless fantasy. If he does not tell me outright that he loves me within a period not to exceed three months, and give me very clear indications concerning the future of our relationship, I will end the relationship myself!

36.

To: seerehwenfadha7et@yahoogroups.com

From: “seerehwenfadha7et”

Date: November 12, 2004

Subject: Michelle Frees Herself of All Constraints

May God accept your fasting, your night prayers and all those good deeds you’ve been doing during the holy month of Ramadan. I missed all of you, my allies and my enemies, and I was touched by all the messages I got inquiring about me. They kept on coming right through the entire month of virtue. Here I am, I have returned to you like the fasting person returns to food in the month after Ramadan. Some of you thought that I would stop at this point and not continue the story after Ramadan. But friends and foes: I will carry on. The wick of confessions coils long. And the longer it burns, the more my writings blaze.