Ivanov

LebedevWell, thanks be to God. (Sits in an armchair.) So, where are we . . .? (Calling the manservant.) Gavrila!

Gavrila brings over to him a small glass of vodka and a tumbler of water. Lebedev drinks the vodka and chases it down with water.

First GuestGood health!

LebedevGood health is right. I’m not about to fall off my perch. (To his wife.) Zyuzyushka, where’s the birthday girl?

Kosykh(tearfully) Not a single trick! For God’s sake! (Jumps up.) How the devil did we manage to lose every trick?

Avdotya(jumps up, angrily) Well, don’t play if you don’t know how! What makes you think you can lead with your opponent’s suit! Then you wonder why you’re stuck with your ace!

Both come forward from behind the table.

Kosykh(tearfully) I appeal to you, everyone – I had the ace, king, queen, jack and eight of diamonds, the ace of spades and a low heart, do you follow me? – and she – God knows why, couldn’t declare a small slam. So I declared ‘no trumps’.

Avdotya(interrupting) It was me who bid ‘no trumps’!

KosykhThat’s ridiculous! . . . Let me tell you – you had – I had – no, you had – Lebedev, you be the judge. In diamonds, I had ace, king –

Lebedev(stops his ears) Stop! – Leave me alone! –

Avdotya(shouts) I was the one who said ‘no trumps’!

Kosykh(furiously) I’ll be damned if I ever sit down to play with you again, you old trout!

He rushes into the garden. The Second Guest follows him out. Yegorushka is left at the table.

AvdotyaWell! . . . I’m all upset now. Trout, indeed. Trout yourself!

BabakinaYes, but you lost your temper, too, Granny.

Avdotya(seeing Babakina, throws up her hands with delight) My lovely one and only! Here she is, and I’m such a blind old bat I never noticed her. My little darling . . . my dove –

She kisses Babakina’s shoulder and sits down beside her.

Let me look at you! You’re a snow queen – I’ll stop before I tempt providence – spit, spit –

She spits twice over her shoulder.

LebedevShe’s off again. What you should do, dear, is find her a husband . . .

AvdotyaAnd see if I don’t! Sinner that I am, I won’t go to my grave till I’ve seen her married. And that goes for Sasha too. I won’t rest. (Sighs.) Only, where do you find a real man these days? Look at them – preening themselves like a bunch of cockerels caught in the rain.

Third GuestYou couldn’t be more wrong – young men nowadays want to stay single, and if you want my opinion it’s because of the state of society and the economic –

LebedevYou’ve set him off. We don’t want dissertations on the state of society, thank you.

Sasha enters and goes up to her father.

SashaSuch a lovely evening, and you’re all cooped up in this stuffy room!

ZinaidaSashenka, haven’t you noticed who’s come to visit?

SashaOh – excuse me, Marfa.

She goes up to Babakina and greets her.

BabakinaYou’ve become such a lady, Sasha, you haven’t been over to see me, not once. (They kiss.) Happy birthday, my dear.

SashaThank you.

She sits down next to her father.

LebedevI know what you mean, Avdotya, and it’s not just husbands who are hard to come by – you can’t even find a decent best man. Today’s lot – no offence – have gone off somehow, they’ve turned like milk, poor things, they’re curdled – don’t dance, don’t know how to talk or drink . . .

AvdotyaHumph! They know how to drink, given half a chance.

LebedevDrinking’s nothing, a horse can drink. I’m talking about drinking with a point to it. In my day, you’d slog away at your studies all day, come the evening you’d head for the nearest place with lights in the window and spin like a top till dawn . . . dance the plyaska and have a laugh with all the girls and who’s-for-another, get me? – (He makes the drinking sign.) – and tell stories and philosophise till your tongue fell out. Young men today . . . (Waves his hand dismissively.) I don’t understand them. No use to God or the devil. In the whole district, there’s only one real man, and he’s married . . . (Sighs.) And he seems to be on the slide . . .

BabakinaWho’s that?

LebedevNikolay Ivanov.

BabakinaYes, he’s all right. (Pulls a face.) Not a happy man, though.