J R

— Leave him alone hey, he’s asleep…

— Dear Friend. How soon can you get started in Import-Export?

What do you need to know? How much does it cost? What products can you import? The answers to these questions may determine your entire future…

— No but look the thing is it’s still all crap because I mean look hey, like where this thing says yes I want to make More Money selling Advertising Book Matches. Please send the starting Portfolio and information about Sales Plans Premiums and handsome Professional Carrying Case then tell us briefly your age and selling experience what are you going to put, right? I mean like this here shoe thing Dear Friend. You have been recommended for the opening we have in your territory for a man who wants to increase his income then like what do you do where it says on this here little card I am interested in your offer to set me up in my own shoe business I wear shoe size like what are you going to put where it says here be sure to give size? I mean like if you put in your real size they know right off how big you are they won’t send you shit, or if you put some grownup size then you’re like going along these here traveled highways where every place of business is your prospect and potential book match customer carrying this here handsome Professional Carrying Case selling these matches wearing this demonstrator pair of these here grownup size shoes like some crazy looking…

— Okay then look, what do you want for those surplus Army stuff catalogs.

— Nothing. All you’ve got is crap.

— You said they were crap too.

— Yeah but they’re better crap than your shoe stuff and your match thing what’s in there, let’s see. Dead men do tell tales, often the fingerprint expert is called upon… What do you want for it. And this wait, this guy with his fingers all grown together fingerprinting and identification magazine look, I’ll give you this surplus stuff catalog for all this stuff, okay?

— What, that one lousy thing for all this?

— No but wait I got more. Look. Department of Defense, Sealed Bid Sale offering tab cards, tires, crane engines…

— What else.

— Look. General Services Administration, Region Seven, sales of civilian agency surplus property, see? Automotive, Medical, clothing, hand tools and wait hey look, Spot Bid Sale, Defense Logistics Services Center, pipe fittings, valves, hardware, generator sets, test sets and stands, electrical…

— Is that all?

— All what do you mean, all, there’s six of them here with this look, this Reference Guide about how you get all this…

— Okay look what do you want for it, look I’ll…

— We can’t hey, we’re there…

— Boys and girls? Let’s wait till everyone gets out…

— Boy this train should have had a wreck hey look at all the lousy teachers on it…

— When we can’t even get room in the cafeteria for driver training because they took the Senior Citizens’ painting class out of the gym when they started the prenatal care program there what’s going to happen to the adult hobby show?

— For the kind of evaluative criterions you find in these kind of enviremental settings…

— With the educational discount a lawnmower like that should be about forty-two dollars, so I said…

— When they tried to tell me I didn’t know enough math to teach it I showed them enough units for the certificates and you should have seen their faces…

— Like they do it in Russia so I said…

— Like it says here to gain the creative tension necessary to make deadline negotiations meaningful you need an impending social crisis like…

— Seeing her in the hospital and she says Leroy motioned them right out in front of that truck so I said you better get a better story to tell your insurance company…

— With the textbook and the workbook and the tests and the answer key but no teacher manual how do they expect…

— A short story out of it which if I published it somewheres there’s three semester hours credit right there…

— Boys and girls? I think everyone’s out, stand and file out the front and wait on the platform here, get your feet off the seat, who has the money for our share in, there it is yes Mister Bast maybe you wouldn’t mind taking it? Mister Bast is joining us today boys and girls…

— No but wait…

— Can we stop at the girls’ room Mrs Joubert? Like this one on the train the door was stuck and…

— Mrs Joubert what about lunch…

— Watch the stairs there don’t push!

— Wait I’m sorry I didn’t mean, I thought you just meant on the train…

— Nine, eleven twelve are there? thirteen? You didn’t happen to count them Mister Bast?

— No but no but I’m sorry I thought you just meant to help you on the train I, I have to go somewhere I came in today to look for a job and, and wait maybe I could do it tomorrow I…

— It’s my fault no I wouldn’t think of it we’ll be, stop that running! We’ll be fine Mister Bast really we, oh the money yes…

— But I, maybe on the way back maybe I can…