J R

— Rush full information plus three free cosmetic samples, no obligation. Okay?

— Okay.

— Okay, if you give me Scientific method builds powerful muscles hey wait wait, look at that!

— What. That tit?

— No, down here. Original factory-packed new thirty caliber fifteen shot wait no it must be this government surplus crap…

— You want it?

— No I already sent for it, I got it here. It’s mostly crap… and the two heads submerged together over the papers massed on the seat between them, knees rising, feet twisting, fingers gone from picking and scratching to dig through envelopes marked Personal, Here is the Information You Requested, Bonus Offer Inside; flyers headed Immediate Cash Commissions Paid on Every Sale, Prospects and Customers Everywhere, How to Make Big Profits Overseas; letters opening Dear Friend, Dear Sir, Is You Future Worth Five Minutes? Take a Good Look in the Mirror, closing Cordially, Yours for Success, — this one?

— Let’s see.

— Let’s see.

— See? Defense Surplus Sales Office, Fleet Station San Diego, it’s mostly crap. Like what I wanted was this here surplus tank, so they send me this and you look up where it says tank it just says Tank, tip, fuel, four fifty gal, aluminum, aircraft, repairs required. It’s just this lousy used airplane gas tank, see?

— Let’s see, what’s all that stuff.

— That’s these old shoes. Shoes, service, Field, leather, composition soles and heels, natural and dark brown, sizes nine C to fifteen FF a thousand seven hundred eighty-seven pairs see it’s all just crap look, cable, telephone, eighteen hundred conductors nine hundred pair solid twenty-two AWG or like here, Mise hardware consisting of an estimated two thousand pieces including cups, casters, washers, screws, nuts, clamps, latches, snap hooks, rings, they just have all this crap to get rid of see? What’ll you give me for it.

— Nothing.

— I got more of them too.

— Who wants them. What’s this.

— Crap.

— … many Jews in the Holy Land should have to refuse to enter hospitals for necessary treatment because they fear that if they die their bodies will be mutilated! Furthermore, what did you want to send for this for?

— Who sent for it. It just came by itself.

— I know, I got this other one just like it only this it’s about cutting up these here animals…

The train hung poised on a hum of escaping power, shuddered and lurched backward to a halt that jolted Bast’s elbow from the sill where he had pressed it in an apparent attempt to cushion his head against the dirty pane and doze.

— Dear Future Investigator. Thank you for your inquiry in regards to the investigation profession. By responding to our advertisement, you have shown the initiative necessary to better your earning capacity and social standing. With the increasing crime rate…

— What are you going to put where it says are you married? if you have an automobile? What part of the world would you like to work in?

— I can put something and look. A Gold Sealed Diploma, suitable for framing…

— How much do they want.

— I know, that’s what I’m looking for.

— What’s that one.

— Never before has a career in art offered so many exciting opportunities for success and high income. Original hand painted pictures are being sought today by more and more interior decorators, homeowners, and…

— Boy, what crap. That’s all you’ve got is crap. What’s this.

— It’s this club you can join if I recommend you.

— What kind of a club.

— It’s this club, see? You step inside and suddenly excitement surrounds you! You enter a world highlighted by the soft, flickering glow of opep-hearth fireplaces… the attentive rustle of beautiful Bunnies, the bright colors of original…

— Bunnies? What kind of a club is that.

— and a heady houseparty atmosphere that seems to prevail…

— What, these are bunnies? these girls with their ass sticking in this guy’s face? Where do you join it.

— Dear Friend. If you are now a Playboy Club keyholder or if this is your second invitation to join the Playboy Club, please accept our apologies. In each area where Playboy Clubs are being placed in operation there exists a certain select group of individuals…

— How much does that say, twenty-five cents? You a member?

— Dollars. No.

— Crap. I got almost the same thing only it’s free. Look. Dear Friend. This month Rancho Hacienda Estates is ushering in the season with a succession of gala banquets. Look at the delicious, full-course dinner menu enclosed, to which you are invited as our distinguished guest. There is no cost or obligation to you. In order to make this gala evening an even more memorable event in your life, our entertainment plans for you include a private showing of the new color film Golden Evenings, which we believe will cast the same haunting glow over this festive occasion that can light the golden evening years of your life at Rancho Hacienda Estates. May we make reservations for yourself and your spouse…

— What’s a spouse?

— What’s the difference. It’s free.

— Well what is it.

— How am I supposed to know. Hey Mister…