Jackdaws

Flick stood in front of Greta and put the wig back on. Ruby, quickly understanding what Flick was trying to do, lifted the mirror from over the mantelpiece and held it in front of Greta, who studied her reflection while she adjusted the wig and blotted her tears with a handkerchief.

“Now listen to me, all of you,” said Flick. “Greta is an engineer, and we can’t accomplish our mission without an engineer. We have a much better chance of survival in occupied territory as an all-woman team. The upshot is, we need Greta and we need her to be a woman. So get used to it.”

Jelly gave a contemptuous grunt.

“There’s something else I ought to explain,” Flick said. She looked hard at Jelly. “You may have noticed that Denise is no longer with us. A little test was set for her tonight, and she failed it. She’s off the team. Unfortunately, she’s learned some secrets in the last two days, and she can’t be allowed to return to her old posting. So she’s gone to a remote base in Scotland, where she’ll stay, probably for the rest of the war, with no leave.”

Jelly said, “You can’t do that!”

“Of course I can, you idiot,” Flick said impatiently. “There’s a war on, remember? And what I’ve done to Denise, I’ll do to anyone who has to be fired from this team.”

“I never even joined the army!” Jelly protested.

“Yes, you did. You were commissioned as an officer, yesterday, after tea. You all were. And you’re getting officer’s pay, although you haven’t seen any yet. That means you’re under military discipline. And you all know too much.”

“So we’re prisoners?” Diana said.

“You’re in the army,” Flick said. “It’s much the same thing. So drink your cocoa and go to bed.”

They drifted off one by one until only Diana was left. Flick had been expecting this. Seeing the two women in a sexual clinch had been a real shock. She recalled that at school some of the girls had developed crushes on one another, sending loving notes, holding hands, and sometimes even kissing; but as far as she knew it had not gone any further. At some point she and Diana had practiced French kissing on one another, so that they would know what to do when they got boyfriends, and now Flick guessed those kisses had meant more to Diana than they had to her. But she had never known a grown woman who desired other women. Theoretically, she was aware that they existed, the female equivalents of her brother Mark and of Greta, but she had never really imagined them… well, feeling each other up in a garden shed.

Did it matter? Not in everyday life. Mark and his kind were happy, or at least they were when people left them alone. But would Diana’s relationship with Maude affect the mission? Not necessarily. Flick herself worked with her husband in the Resistance, after all. This was not quite the same, admittedly. A passionate new romance might prove a distraction.

Flick could try to keep the two lovers separate-but that might make Diana even more insubordinate. And the affair could just as easily be an inspiration. Flick had been trying desperately to get the women to work together as a team, and this might help. She had decided to leave well enough alone. But Diana wanted to talk.

“It’s not what it seems, really it isn’t,” Diana said without preamble. “Christ, you’ve got to believe me. It was just a stupid thing, a joke—”

“Would you like more cocoa?” Flick said. “I think there’s some left in the jug.”

Diana stared at her, nonplussed. After a moment she said, “How can you talk about cocoa?”

“I just want you to calm down and realize that the world is not going to come to an end simply because you kissed Maude. You kissed me, once-remember?”

“I knew you’d bring that up. But that was just kid stuff With Maude, it wasn’t just a kiss.” Diana sat down. Her proud face crumpled and she began to cry. “You know it was more than that, you could see, oh, God, the things I did. What on earth did you think?”

Flick chose her words carefully. “I thought the two of you looked very sweet.”

“Sweet?” Diana was incredulous. “You weren’t disgusted?”

“Certainly not. Maude is a pretty girl, and you appear to have fallen in love with her.”

“That’s exactly what happened.”

“So stop being ashamed.”

“How can I not be ashamed? I’m queer!”

“I wouldn’t look at it that way if I were you. You ought to be discreet, to avoid offending narrow-minded people such as Jelly, but there’s no need for shame.”

“Will I always be like this?”

Flick considered. The answer was probably yes, but she did not want to be brutal. “Look,” she said, “I think some people, like Maude, just love to be loved, and they can be made happy by a man or a woman.” In truth, Maude was shallow, selfish, and tarty, but Flick suppressed that thought firmly. “Others are more inflexible,” she went on. “You should keep an open mind.”

“I suppose that’s the end of the mission for me and Maude.”

“It most certainly is not.”

“You’ll still take us?”

“I still need you. And I don’t see why this should make any difference.”