Kinky Confessions

“Uh-uh. We always kept them on. Vaughn felt me up through my shirt and bra, and a couple of times under, but he never saw me naked. I was so skinny and flat-chested that he probably didn’t care. But… it was different with Peter. He asked me to take my shirt off. He was sweet about it. And he was kinda rough when he played with my nipples, which I liked.

“I also felt really naughty when I realized he and Lani were watching each other as much as me,” she said. “It was kinda weird, though. We all pretended not to know what the others were doing. But sometimes she’d let things slip that she couldn’t know unless she’d seen.

“Still,” Christy continued, “we did it any time their mom was at her volunteer job. I think that’s when my mom figured out what was going on, although she probably thought Lani and I were kissing and experimenting, or something silly like ‘playing doctor.’ I don’t think she had any idea what we were really doing.”

“Probably not.”

“Besides, she thought Peter’s part-time job started right after swim practice. I… um… might’ve let her think that even though I knew better.”

“You’re a sneaky little thing.”

“I had to be! Even without my brothers watching over me, I still had my dad’s stupid rules.”

“I’m just teasing,” I said. “Although I’m going to have to pay more attention. You did the same thing with me when you and Wren started fooling around in Siobhan’s office.”

“Yes, but I told you about that.”

“Eventually.”

“Like you ‘eventually’ told me you were talking to Gina instead of Sara?”

“Ouch!”

“See,” she said, still a bit testy, “I’m not the only one.”

“Fair enough. Anyway, I’m sorry I interrupted. What happened next?”

She shrugged. “We didn’t have as many excuses to see each other after swim season ended, but we did it every chance we could. And all through the spring and summer, any time we weren’t surfing or hanging out at the beach.

But then school started again and I realized things were different. With them, I mean.”

“They’d started fooling around with each other.”

“How’d you know? Never mind. I forgot who I was talking to. Of course you’d know.” She kissed my chest and gave my stomach a friendly little

caress. “I never saw them do it or anything,” she continued, “but Lani bragged about a secret guy she was ‘seeing.’ She told me she was giving him blowjobs. She was even thinking about going all the way.”

“How’d Peter handle it?”

“That’s how I figured out who it was. He stopped doing anything with me and became really weird. He worked more and avoided me or was angry whenever I saw him. I think he felt guilty.”

“Incest isn’t something you do casually,” I said. “Society has a huge taboo about it. I mean, I used to feel guilty too, especially about my fantasies.

I don’t anymore, but I’m an exception to the rule that incest is bad. Still, a lot of people think about it.”

“You can say that again,” Christy said under her breath.

I heard it but didn’t think anything about it till later. Instead, I continued,

“My situation isn’t unique, but it’s pretty rare. I mean, Erin and I were kind of encouraged to experiment, although not necessarily with each other. We knew about sex and the consequences—not just physical, but emotional too

—so I probably adjusted better because I was raised like I was.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Christy said softly. “Peter didn’t do so well. Lani didn’t really change, which was weird in its own way, but he turned into a jerk.”

“He probably liked what they were doing but felt guilty about it. No clue what was going through her head.”

“I… think I know. One of the things girls worry about most is ruining our reputation. Lani knew Peter couldn’t brag about what they did, so it was perfect for her. She could do things with him and no one would know. That’s a big part of why I do things with you. I love you, but I also know you won’t tell anyone.”

“No, definitely not. But what happened with them? Did things ever go back to normal? Or did they get worse?”

“Sort of worse. They eventually went all the way—I was up close and personal with Lani, if you know what I mean. I saw her before and after.”

I chuckled. “So that was your introduction to the hymen?”

“Yeah. I knew what it was—every girl does, a cherry—but not for real, not till Lani lost hers. And for the record, she didn’t ‘lose’ anything. It was just this little piece of skin that tore. I never even knew it was there or what it was. I just thought it was part of her, until it was different. And I probably wouldn’t’ve noticed if I hadn’t been suspicious already.”

“Did she change in other ways? Emotionally?”

“A little. She was more secretive, maybe, but I didn’t really notice at the time. Peter changed a lot, so that’s what I paid attention to.” She shrugged.

“We didn’t hang out as much because of it. I was really upset. I mean, I had no idea what was going on. Not at the time. I’m pretty sure I do now, but…”