Klara and the Sun

‘Oh? Why are you surprised, dear?’

‘Well, I…Frankly, I’m surprised because Miss Helen’s request concerning Rick appears very sincere. I’m surprised someone would desire so much a path that would leave her in loneliness.’

‘And that’s what surprises you?’

‘Yes. Until recently, I didn’t think that humans could choose loneliness. That there were sometimes forces more powerful than the wish to avoid loneliness.’

Miss Helen smiled. ‘You really are a sweet one. You don’t say as much, but I can tell what you’re thinking. A mother’s love for her son. Such a noble thing, to override the dread of loneliness. And you might not be wrong. But let me tell you, there are all kinds of other very good reasons why, in a life like mine, one might prefer loneliness. I’ve often made such a choice in the past. I did so, for instance, rather than stay with Rick’s father. Late father, very sadly, though Rick has no memory of him. Even so, he was for a while my husband, and not an entirely useless one at that. It’s thanks to him we’re able to get by this way, even if we don’t exactly live in splendor. Here’s Rick coming back again. Oh, he’s not. He wishes to stay out there and sulk further.’

Indeed, Rick had come walking up the plank steps and glanced towards the house, but had then sat down on the top step, his back turned to us once more.

‘I must return to Josie,’ I said then. ‘It was very kind of Miss Helen to take me into her confidence. I’ll do as you ask and speak with Josie.’

‘And speak with her repeatedly. This is Rick’s only chance. And as I say, I have a secret weapon. A contact. Perhaps the next time Chrissie takes Josie into the city, perhaps when she next sits for her portrait, Rick and I could cadge a ride. Then Rick could meet my secret weapon, hopefully impress him. Chrissie and I have already spoken about it. But all of this is useless until Rick changes his attitude.’

‘I understand. Then goodbye. I must go now.’

When I stepped out onto the platform, I could feel the wind blowing through the gaps of the planks more strongly than before. The fields were no longer divided into boxes, so I could see a single clear picture all the way to the horizon. Despite the altered angles, Mr McBain’s barn was where I expected it to be, though now a slightly changed shape to the one from Josie’s rear window.

I walked past the cobweb refrigerator to the top plank where Rick was seated. I thought he might still be angry and ignore me, but he looked up with gentle eyes.

‘I’m sorry if my visit caused friction,’ I said.

‘Hardly your fault. It often gets like that.’

We both looked at the fields before us, and I realized after a moment that his gaze, like mine, was on Mr McBain’s barn.

‘You were saying something,’ he said. ‘Before Mum came down. You were saying how you wanted to go out to that barn for some reason.’

‘Yes. And it will have to be in the evening. It’s essential to time such a trip accurately.’

‘And you’re sure you don’t want me to go with you?’

‘It’s very kind of Rick. But if there are informal trails leading to Mr McBain’s barn, it’s best I go alone. It’s important I don’t take anything for granted.’

‘Okay. If you say so.’ He was squinting up at me, partly on account of the Sun’s pattern on his face, but also, I realized, because he was once again studying me carefully, perhaps assessing my ability to make such a journey. ‘Look,’ he said eventually. ‘I don’t really understand what this is about. But if it’s going to help Josie to get better, then, well, good luck.’

‘Thank you. Now I must return to the house.’

‘You know, I’ve been thinking about it,’ he said. ‘Perhaps you could tell Josie I really liked her picture. That I was grateful. And that if it’s okay with her, I’d like to come over soon and tell her that myself.’

‘Josie will be so happy when she hears.’

‘Maybe tomorrow even.’

‘Yes, of course. Well then, goodbye. It was a very interesting trip for me. Thank you for your useful advice.’

‘See you, Klara. Go carefully.’

***

The timing of my journey to Mr McBain’s barn, as I’d told Rick, was crucial, and when I crossed the loose stones towards the picture frame gate for the second time that day, a fear came into my mind that I’d miscalculated. The Sun was already low before me — and I couldn’t assume the second and third fields would be as easy to navigate as the first.

My journey began reassuringly, the informal trail to Rick’s house similar to what it had been in the morning. This time I had both hands to push away the grass, and as I did so, evening insects flew up. I saw more insects hovering before me in the air, nervously exchanging positions, but unwilling to abandon their friendly clusters.