Lilian Jackson Braun - Cat 18 Who Said Cheese

Qwilleran listened patiently, waiting for her to come to the point.

"Would you mind if we stopped at the barn after the service - for just a few minutes?"

Qwilleran could never say no to the Lanspeaks. They were a likable pair - not only owners of the department store but enthusiastic supporters of every civic endeavor. "I'll have coffee waiting for you," he said.

"Then we'll skip the coffee hour at the church and see you about twelve-fifteen. Your coffee is better, anyway. Strong, but better."

It was to her credit that she liked his coffee. Some of his best friends made uncomplimentary remarks about its potency. It was, as Carol said, strong!

To the Siamese, Qwilleran said, "I want you guys to be on your best behavior. Some city dudes are coming to visit. Try not to act like country bumpkins. No picking of pockets! No untying of shoelaces! No cat fights!" Both of them listened soberly, Koko looking elegantly aristocratic and Yum Yum looking sweetly incapable of crime.

When the Lanspeaks' car eventually pulled into the parking area, Qwilleran pressed the button on the automated coffee maker and gave the visitors a few minutes to admire the barn's exterior before going out to greet them. They were introduced as Willard and Danielle from Detroit.

"Grosse Point, really," she said. They had an urban veneer, Qwilleran noticed. It was evident in the suavity of their manner, the sophistication of their dress and grooming, and the glib edge to their speech. He invited them indoors.

Carol said, "We've brought you some flowers from our garden.... Larry, would you bring them from the trunk?"

It was a pot of mums, blooming profusely.

"Thank you," Qwilleran said. "Unusual color."

"Vintage burgundy," Larry said.

Indoors there were the usual gasps and exclamations as the newcomers viewed the balconies, ramps, lofty rafters, and giant white fireplace cube. The Siamese were sitting on top of it, looking down on the visitors with bemused whiskers.

"Handsome creatures," said Willard. "When we're settled, I'd like to get a couple of Siamese. Is there a local source?"

"There's a breeder in Lockmaster," Qwilleran said with a lack of endorsement, referring to the friend of Polly's who had introduced the belligerent Bootsie into his peaceful life.

Danielle, who had been silently staring at the famous moustache, spoke up, "I'd rather have a kinkajou. They have sexy eyes and yummy fur." Her rather tinny voice reminded Qwilleran of the sound track of early talkies. The other members of the party looked at her wordlessly.

"Shall we have coffee in the lounge?" he suggested. As he served, he was thinking that Danielle was hardly Moose County's idea of a banker's wife - or even a Sunday churchgoer; her dress was too short, her heels too high. Everything about her was studiously seductive: her style, her glances, her semidrawl, her flirtatious earrings. Dangling discs twisted and flashed when she moved.

"And what brings you people to the north woods?" he asked.

The husband, who seemed to be in mid-life, said, "I've reached the stage of maturity where one appreciates the values of country living. Danielle is still looking back, like Lot's wife, but she'll adapt... Won't you, sweetheart?"

Sweetheart was pointedly silent, and Qwilleran filled the void by asking her for her first impression of Pickax.

"Well, it's different!" she said. "All those farmers! All those pickup trucks! And no malls! Where do people go to shop?"

He glanced at the Lanspeaks, who wore sickly smiles. "We have an excellent department store downtown," he said, "and quite an assortment of specialty shops. We're old-fashioned. We like the idea of shopping downtown."

The banker said, "I'm surprised that mall developers Down Below haven't latched on to this county. There's a lot of undeveloped land between here and the lakeshore."

Qwilleran thought, This guy's dangerous. He said, "That land was owned by the wealthy Klingenschoen family and is now held in trust by the Klingenschoen Foundation-with a mandate to preserve its natural state in perpetuity."

"I don't care. I like malls," Danielle announced. "I lived in Baltimore before I married Willard."

"Ah! Home of the Orioles! Are you a baseball fan?"

"No. Football is more exciting."

Carol said, "Danielle has stage experience, and we're hoping to get her into the theatre club."

Sure, Qwilleran thought; she could play Lola in Damn Yankees. "Where are you living?"

"In Indian Village until our house is ready. We bought the Fitch house in West Middle Hummock - the modem one. I really love the neat modem stuff in this barn. It's exciting."

"Thank you, but all the credit goes to Fran Brodie, a designer at Amanda's studio on Main Street."

"I'll have to go and see her. Our house needs a lot of doing-over. Nobody lived there for three years. It's funny, but it was built for another banker-but he died."

Qwilleran thought, For your information, sweetheart, he was murdered.