Lilian Jackson Braun - Cat 18 Who Said Cheese

Qwilleran and his guest had finished eating their sandwiches at the bar and were back in the lounge area with mugs of coffee. The Siamese were still hanging around, having been fed crumbs of cheese and crumbles of meatloaf by their new friend. Without warning, Koko's body stiffened and his head jerked toward the : back door. Then he scampered to the kitchen to look through the window. "Koko can see headlights and hear motors when they're half a mile away," Qwilleran explained.

Minutes later, a weird noise came from the parking lot, and he jumped up to investigate. Andrew Brodie was approaching the kitchen door, his bagpipe skirling a Scottish tune.

"Is this the place where they give free drinks to pipers?" he called out as Qwilleran went to meet him.

"Depends how good you are. As a matter of fact, I've always wanted to hear bagpipe music in the barn. The acoustics are phenomenal."

Brodie dropped his bagpipe in the kitchen and swaggered into the lounge area, where a hefty young man with white hair was sitting with one cat on his lap and another on his shoulder. "Aubrey! What are you doing here, for Pete's sake?" he barked. "Playing St. Francis?"

"Hi, Andy. I had a big sandwich and a coupla beers, and now I'm talkin' to the cats. They're friendly. We play Blink. D'you know how to play Blink?"

Qwilleran said, "You guys seem to know each other."

"Cripes, I've known Aubrey ever since he was in high school and I was with the sheriff. I know all his brothers, too. And his mother grows the best flowers in the county! How's she doin', Aubrey?"

"Mom's got some arthritis, but she's doin' all right. She still makes flapjacks better'n Lois's. D'you know Lois's lunchroom is closed?"

"Don't worry. She'll be back in business again. She's always threatening to close... Who are your two friends?"

"This one's Yum Yum, and this one's Koko. He wants to tickle my ears with his whiskers."

Qwilleran said to Brodie, "Make yourself comfortable. Have some cheese. Aubrey was telling me an interesting story. As an old friend of the family, you ought to hear it."

Turning to the young man, the off-duty chief said, "Aren't you the one that reported the body down by the river?"

"Yeah. I found him in my cabin. That's where I live.

The family used to have five cabins for rent. Now there's only one left, and I live there with my bees. The hives are on the side that gets the sun and not the north wind. They gave me a lot of honey this summer. Did you ever taste my honey? It's darker than most. It has a lot of flavor." He turned to Qwilleran. "You've tasted my honey. Do you think it's got a lot of flavor?"

"It's the best!" said Qwilleran, wondering if Aubrey had forgotten that his bees were gone.

Brodie took a gulp of his drink. "How come this fisherman was renting your cabin last weekend?"

"I knew him a long time. He liked to come up and fish for bass sometimes. I always let him use my cabin, and the old man would let me sleep in the big house. He's in the hospital now. Did you know he's in the hospital, Andy?"

"Yes, I heard he was in a bad way."

"It's the kidneys and pros - pros -"

"Prostate," Qwilleran said.

"When he kicks the bucket, I'm gonna get his Bible. That's what he told me. It's German. I can't read it, but it's got gold edges and gold letters on the cover." He turned to Qwilleran again. "You saw it. Is it real leather?"

"Yes, it's real leather and a very handsome book."

Then, to get the story back on track, he asked, "Aubrey, didn't you say your friend spent his honeymoon in your cabin, some years back?"

"Yeah. He married a nice lady, but she di'n't like fly-fishin', so she never come up again. He always come alone. He tied his own flies. He was real good at it. D'you like fly-fishin', Andy?"

"Can't say that I do. Had your friend ever had trouble with the bees before?"

Aubrey shook his head solemnly, and Qwilleran reminded him, "Didn't you mention that he'd been drinking heavily Saturday night? From what I've learned of honeybees, that might have antagonized them... Tell Andy how you met this guy, Aubrey."

"Yeah." Without a flicker of emotion he related the story of his near-drowning and the heroic act that saved his life. "Vic always said I owed him one for saving my life. That's why I always let him use my cabin for free anytime he wanted. His name was Victor, but I called him Vic. He'd call up from Down Below and say, 'How's about usin' your shanty for a coupla days, Big Boy?' He always called me Big Boy. He'd fly up here, and I'd pick him up at the airport. He'd do some fishin' and I'd do my chores, and we'd eat his catch for supper, and I'd boil some turnips. I make' em like my mom does - mashed with butter and salt and pepper." He turned to Qwilleran. "D'you like turnips?"

"No!" was the vehement reply.

"You'd like 'em mashed with butter and salt and - " Brodie interrupted. "What did Vic do for a living?"

"Electronics. That's what I wanted to do, but I di'n't get a chance. I hadda come home."