Lone eagle

“Why don't you come with me? You'd love it,” he suggested to her. She hadn't been to Tokyo in years, since she'd gone with her parents as a young girl. And Joe had taken her to Hong Kong. “You can go shopping or go to museums or temples or something,” he said, trying to come up with a compromise that would work for both of them. But they both knew that even if she went, she wouldn't see much of him. He worked constantly while he was away, just as he did at home.

“I can't leave the kids for weeks at a time, Joe. They're one and three years old.”

“Bring them,” he said curtly.

“To Tokyo?” she asked in horror.

“They have kids in Japan, Kate. I swear. I saw one once. Trust me.” But she thought it was too far for them to go. And what if they got sick while they were there? She couldn't talk to the doctor, and what point was there in all of them sitting in a hotel room waiting to see Joe? It made more sense for them to wait for him at home.

He was in Europe for Thanksgiving, and she went to her parents' with the kids. He called from London and spoke to Clarke and Liz. Her father wanted to know all about what he was doing. And her mother made a comment about it to Kate that night, which unnerved her more than she wanted to admit.

“Is he ever home, Kate?” Even now, her mother didn't approve of him. She had always suspected that he broke up Kate's marriage to Andy, and she blamed him for it, more than Kate. She thought it had been a terrible thing to do. And even though he had married her, he was never around.

“He's not home much, Mom. But he's building something amazing. In a year or two, it'll settle down.” Kate was, in fact, sure it would.

“How do you know? In the old days, it was his planes. Now it's his business, and his planes. When does he get to you?” In hours and days between trips, Kate thought silently, when he was too tired to even talk to her, or too exhausted to sleep, so he'd go to the office at four A.M. By Thanksgiving, they hadn't made love in two months, he was just too tired to even think about it in the few days he was at home. He wanted to, he wanted all of it, to be with her, to have sensual nights and lazy mornings, but there was no time anymore. He had a thousand forces pulling at him. “You'd better take a good look at what you've got, Kate. You've got a guy who's never going to be there for you, no matter what. He can't. And what do you think he's really doing on those trips, Kate? He's got to have a woman sometime, he's a man.” The very idea of it cut through Kate like a knife, and she always told herself it wasn't true. She had thought about it herself, but rejected the idea. Joe wasn't that kind of man, he never had been. He was driven by his passion for flying and obsessed by his work. He was building a fortune and an empire, which was as addictive for Joe as a drug. She was almost certain that in the year they'd been married, he had never cheated on her. And she would never have done it to him.

But the rest of what her mother said hit its mark. He was never around. Whatever the reasons, however good, he wasn't there. And when he got home, there were papers and problems, and threats from the unions. He was on the phone to California and Europe and Tokyo and the White House, or Charles Lindbergh. It was always someone or something that ate his time and seemed more important than Kate. She had to stand in line with everyone else, and most of the time, she got last place. That was just the way it worked. And if she wanted a life with him, which she did without question, it was what she'd get. He couldn't slice off more pieces of himself than he already had, and he expected her to understand. And most of the time she did. She loved him, and admired his success. She was happy for him. It was exciting, and he was amazing. But sometimes it hurt anyway. She was lonelier for him than he understood. And although she tried to reason with herself, at times she felt abandoned when he was gone.

She tried to explain it to him calmly one afternoon when he was home. It was the week after Thanksgiving, and he was watching football on TV. He had come home early that morning, and hadn't slept at all the night before. And he was just staring at the television set, drinking a beer and relaxing. It was a rare treat for him.

“Christ, Kate, don't start on that again. I just got home. I know I've been gone for three weeks, and I missed Thanksgiving with your parents, but the Brits were about to cancel my routes.” He looked beat. And he was in desperate need of some time to relax, without pressure from her.

“Can't someone else negotiate with them once in a while?” He was becoming an egomaniac, he had to do it all himself. But he had built the business, and the truth was he did it better than anyone else. When he went in and handled things, they turned out right. That was just the way it was. He didn't want to risk having someone else destroy what he'd built.