Midsummer's Eve

"You'll feel better when we are right away," he assured me, for he had always understood my moods. "Then we'll come back to our new life. We will be so busy there will be no time for brooding. We can go away when we feel like it. Between them Bob Carter and Luke Tregern can take care of things.”

I was to be married in the chapel at Cador and it would be a white wedding as it was to take place in June.

Jennie Tregore, wife of one of the farmers, had been a dressmaker by profession before her marriage and she carried on with it when anyone wanted anything made. I decided I wanted something simple and that she should make it.

I often thought when Jennie was busy with the fittings, what an occasion my mother would have made of this. She would have wanted to go to London for my wedding dress.

What excitement there would have been! How she would have loved it!

I must stop thinking along those lines. I told myself so a hundred times a day, but I still went on doing it.

I was thinking now about my honeymoon. I had always wanted to see Italy. My father had often talked about our going. Once more I was back in the past. I could see them all so clearly, sitting at the dinner table, Jacco arguing fiercely that it would be more fun to go to the mountains of Switzerland than the art galleries of Florence.

I must stop.

Yes, I thought. In London I will buy some clothes for my honeymoon. There! I was growing away from it if I could think about clothes.

I noticed that Helena was becoming more and more uneasy about returning to London.

She was afraid she would have to face a barrage of questions.

"But your mother knows," I told her, "and she will explain everything to your father.

As for him, he has a way of making things right even if they aren't. Peterkin and Frances will love to see you. They'll understand.”

"I wasn't thinking so much about the family as people I shall have to meet-all those mothers who used to pity me because no one wanted to marry me, and when John did, looked on me with a sort of envy. They'll crow now. Besides, what are people really thinking about my father and his business?”

"They are thinking what he intends they should. He is a man of the world and now he is contributing in a very public way to charity. Your father is the sort of man who will be unperturbed by anything that happens to him. You must try to be like him, Helena.”

"As if I ever could be! I'm not looking forward to it and you'll miss Jonnie.”

"Very much ... and you, too. But we have to go on, Helena. We can't just stand still. We have been through a lot and we have learned to grow away from it.”

"You have that chance now ... with Rolf.”

"And so have you a chance ... with Jonnie. Your mother will help. I think she is one of the kindest people I ever knew. You're lucky to have her." "She's an angel but not a very practical one.”

"You'll be all right. Helena, suppose Matthew comes back.”

"I suppose he will in time.”

"How do you feel abut him?”

"Very grateful. He's a good man, isn't he?”

"He is dedicated to his purpose.”

"Yes. He's like Frances Cresswell in a way. Those sort of people want to do good.

They are wonderful people ... but they don't always care so much for just one person.”

"Do you think ... if he came back, you would be together ... that you could love him?”

"I don't think I shall ever love anyone like that but John.”

"He should have gone on with the marriage, defied his family.”

"He just couldn't. He had to do what seemed right to him.”

"If he had known about Jonnie ...”

"I didn't want marriage on those terms ... because he had to. I wanted him to marry me because he wanted to.”

"He did want to ...”

"But not enough. You're lucky, Annora. Rolf loves you ... cornpletely. There was a time when I thought you might marry Gregory Donnelly.”

"Surely not. I loathed the man.”

"He was so sure of himself. I thought he might find some way of forcing you to marry him.”

"I can't see how he could have done that in any circumstances.”

"Well, you're lucky. Rolf is our sort. You'll be very good together. You've got all this. Just fancy. It's yours. Oh, Annora, I hope you are going to be very happy.”

"I'll try to be," I said. "And, Helena, you must, too. Don't forget. You have Jonnie.”

"The dearest treasure in the world.”

We laughed; and then she wanted to see how my wedding dress was progressing, so I took her to the room where Jennie was working and we had a discussion about pleats and tucks and Honiton lace versus that of Brussels.

Helena was getting ready to leave. The day after the wedding we should set out, Rolf and I, for our honeymoon, Helena and Jonnie for her father's London home. Rolf and I were to spend a few nights there before going to the coast.

Jonnie was almost walking now. He was just over a year old. He crawled along at great speed, then he would stand and after a few tottering steps sit down on the floor.