Much Ado About Murder

“Indeed? Well, then really I must congratulate you, Jack,” said Dickens. “You seem to haven taken a disorganized bunch of rakehell roaring boys who have all been at one another’s throats and given them a common enemy against whom to unite in opposition. ‘Tis an astonishing achievement, truly. And to think that I went abroad to learn the trade of soldiering whilst here you were all of this time, turning yourself into a general completely on your own. I doff my cap to you, Jack. I must say, I am full of admiration at what you have accomplished. Truly, I could not even imagine what a man of your inestimable abilities would ever want from me.”

“I want you to join us, Ben,” said Darnley, either ignoring Dickens’s sarcasm or else missing it completely. “ ‘Twould be just like the old days once again! You and me, leading the Steady Boys at the forefront of it all… Think of it! We could rouse all the ‘prentices in concert and clean out the vermin from this city! And you, as well, Tuck. You can be a part of it. The Steady Boys will always have a place for a strapping, big brawler like youself. Come and join us!”

“I thank you kindly for the offer,” Smythe replied, “but I always try my best to avoid brawls whenever possible.”

“You mean to say that rather than stand up and be counted for your fellow countrymen, you would prefer to let all these foreigners ruin the livelihoods of honest Englishmen?” said Darnley, with challenge in his voice.

“Tuck has no quarrel with you, Jack,” Dickens said.

“Nay, in truth, I do not,” Smythe agreed, “but I daresay I have a quarrel with his report. For the truth of the matter is that ‘tis not the foreigners in London who are to blame for all the poverty. If the blame should rest with anyone, then it should rest with English landowners who enclose their lands for raising sheep, for as many of my fellow countrymen know all too well, wool is much more profitable in these times than produce. Only as the landed gentry fence in all their lands for grazing sheep instead of tillage, they dispossess their tenant farmers, who are thus left with no work and homeless. And so, not knowing what else they can do, they make the journey to London, desperate and seeking work, only to discover that so many more like them have come that work is difficult to find. But ‘tis not the Flemish silversmiths who take the jobs that would have gone to them, as you ought well to know, since you are an apprentice and know something of the crafts. Nor do the Italian merchants compete with them for work, nor the German shopkeepers and craftsmen, for that matter, for a simple country farmer knows nothing of such things. He knows and understands his husbandry, but for the most part, that is the compass of his world, beyond which he sails in ignorance. I suppose ‘tis possible that the occasional gypsy here or there may swindle someone, but methinks that they are much more likely to cozen a wealthy Fleming or a prosperous Italian merchant than some poor old sod begging on the street. ‘Twould be little profit there. In truth, one should think that quite the contrary to what you claim, each foreign craftsman or merchant who comes to London and opens up a shop creates an opportunity for Englishmen with no ready skills at trade or craft, for every merchant has need of assistants in his shop and every craftsman has need of apprentices.”

“I told you ‘twould be a waste of time with these two,” said McEnery, with a sneer. “An’ what with the way that this one speaks, it sounds to me more like he champions these stinking foreigners than stands up for his fellow countrymen!”

“Nay, I beg to differ,” Dickens said. “He speaks truly and I, for one, can find no fault in his discourse. If you were to venture out beyond the city walls, then you would soon find that what Tuck says is true. ‘Tis not the foreigner who dispossesses English farmers of their homes and livelihoods, but the gentleman who encloses his estate to turn his crop fields into pastureland for greater profit. These enclosures are a plague upon our poor, swelling their ranks as they fatten the purses of the gentry, and in the long run, all shall suffer from it. ‘Tis an easy thing to point your finger at the foreigners, Jack, and claim they are to blame, but ‘tis not so. You may make a scapegoat of the blameless foreigner, but ‘twill not solve the problem. On the other hand, it does give you a cry with which to rally others to your standard, does it not?” Dickens smiled mirthlessly. “You always did want to be the leader, Jack. Well, ‘twould seem you have your wish, at last. You have no need of me. And for my part, I have no need of causing pain or trouble to those who have done nothing to offend me. S’trewth, I have done enough of that already. My battlefields are left behind me. Count me out. And as for Tuck, I believe he has already given you his answer.”