My Secret Life

I went to a likely photograph shop and after seeing there some decent nudities, said I wanted something “piu-caldo.” — He smiled and showed some. They were not “piu-caldo” enough. Then cautiously in his little sitting room, he produced a packet of the baudiest I'd ever seen. Women showing their cunts, others licking them, couples fucking etc. etc. I bought two dozen, went back with them and found Edith ready to go out with me. When well away from the hotel, “I've something to show you.” — “What is it?” she asked anxiously. — “I can't show it to you in the street.” — We walked on and every now and then. “What is it — tell me, do.” — At last she laughed funnily as she asked. — “I will show in a church.” — “Let's go there now, I'm so tired.” — Into the nearest we went, looked about and then sat down, the church was nearly empty.

Directly we were seated. — “Show it me.” “I forgot, I mustn't in a church.” — “Why?” — “They are so naughty.” — “Oh!” — “That's a lovely window.” — “Yes,” — said she hastily looking. “But show me.” — I was dying to show her, she to see, but I made her wait to excite her. At length I produced a photo of a naked woman on a bed with thighs wide apart, and a man standing with his big poker ready. — “I won't look at it,” — said she handing it back, after she had fairly well seen it. Her face flushed, and she was excited. She usually was so cool about such things.

Thoughtfully she rose to leave, I kept looking at her and smiling. “What are you smiling about?” — “At what you're thinking about.” “I'm not thinking.” — “You are about that happy couple.” — “It serves me right,” — said she as we left the church. Soon we entered another and she sat down -saying she was tired, she did it to induce me to show her others. — “Will you see another?” — “No, lend them to me.” — “No, look,” and taking the envelope out I showed one of two girls gamahuching. — She looked much more excitedly now. — “You do that.” — “I don't.” — “How do you get pleasure?” — “I don't that, and don't want any.” — “Nonsense, you're a goose if you don't.” — “As I've seen those you may as well show the others.” — “I won't.” — “Let's go home then.” Back we went, I thinking her one of the most incomprehensible women I'd ever had to do with. At the hotel. “Come to my room and show all, you can talk with me as to a father, you know” — her own words once. — She smiled.

END OF THE TENTH VOLUME.

Volume 11

Chapter I

Edith the frisky. • My bedroom. • Exhibition of a stiff prick. • Exhibition of a bleeding cunt. • My regrets. • Next day's amusements. • A week's work. • Departure. • Edith's grief. • Her history partly.

Edith was a complete puzzle to me. Does she fuck or frig herself, or play with women's cunts, has she any cuntal defect? She looks sensuous from eyes to mouth, she'll talk on sexual subjects freely but in a modest sort of way, yet won't let me feel her. Is she gamahuched by women? She'd looked long at the last photo. These thoughts passed thro my mind and that she had Sapphic tastes was my conclusion. Dressing for dinner, I determined on a bold attempt. Our seats were side by side, and when dinner was nearly over, I did what I've done, to half a dozen women, put my hand under the table cloth — which happened to be just long enough to cover it — and pressed her clothes against her belly as near her cunt as I could. She looked at me hard, and just then a gentleman on the other side of her spoke — she replied, and then quietly put her hand down and pushed mine away, without uttering a word, but looking at me intently.

After dinner we sat awhile in the reading room. She made no allusion to what I'd done. “I must go to Mamma. — Lend me them.” — I refused tho she begged hard, and at length she agreed to come to my room, after my refusing most positively. “I'll sit with Mamma a quarter of an hour first.” — I got champagne in my room, and in twenty minutes, she was with me. She'd told Mamma she was going to the reading room to chat with some ladies. Then she smiled, looking full in my eyes. I seized and kissed her rapturously praising her beauty, and she permitted it. I scarcely expected her, and had resolved if she came to use no more hints and delicate phrases, but to speak baudily to the utmost of my wants, and of the pleasures of fucking; to get that pleasure if nothing further. It de-lights me to say the baudiest to a modest ond quasi-modest woman. They all like it tho some profess to be shocked.