My Secret Life

At eight o'clock one cold morning in November, I walked along on my way to a railway station. I was going out shooting, my gun and luggage had gone the previous day to my friend's house, and I was to meet him at ten o'clock. I was at the moment in a quiet street of semi-detached houses, not a person was visible but a policeman and a milkman, the inhabitants being, I suppose, just out of bed. — Turning a corner, I saw about a hundred feet ahead of me two women standing talking, one a stoutish well-grown woman of common class with a bonnet on, the other shorter who had something in her hand, and who had only a cap on and looked like a servant.

The taller woman had her face full towards me, and as I approached I saw that she looked about four and twenty. She had fine dark eyes and hair, was well-formed and soldily built, had very big breasts, and resembled the big country servants who come to London. She was evidently of poor class, but had good neat clothing tho not warm enough for the season. She had a parcel in her hand. — I was very fit that morning, her looks pleased me, and as I got nearer and took in at a glance all I have said, my pego thrilled and I thought she was just the build I like to fuck. A clipping cunt between heavy thighs she has, thought I.

Instintively I suppose, and certainly without any object than gazing at a fine woman, I slightly slackened my pace. As I got nearer, her eyes fastened themselves on mine, as mine did on her, and kept so till I had passed her. As I passed a sensuous thrill again came thro me, and I thought I should like to fuck her. Was our lust reciprocal at that moment? When some little distance past her I looked round and she was also looking round after me. A few feet further this was repeated, I then took off my hat, she nodded, and the servant with a jug — as I then saw she was — went into an adjacent house. The woman then walked slowly on, again turned round, and immediately forgetting my destination I turned, and went after. She stopped and soon I was close to her. Dozens of times women and I have looked round after each other on similar chance meetings, which generally ended in such looks. But is there not in such simultaneous action, simultaneous desire? — Is there not felt tho not said, nor even at the very instant thought of, a mutual sexual attraction which formulated and expressed means. — “I'd like him to fuck me. — I'd like to fuck her.” — “What a fine man!” “What a lovely woman!” expressions used millions of times and used instinctively, mean when analyzed a latent mutual desire to copulate, a Divine instinct, urging towards fucking.

Under this instinct and in obedience to this Divine law it was that she stood still and that I went after her, I seeking cunt, she seeking prick, and the pleasure of the life giving spermatic injection. I under this spell of lust and quite forgetting now my train said, “Well my dear, what are you waiting for?” “What are you coming to me for?” she replied, smiling. “To look at your handsome face, and hear why you are out so early.” “Where are you going so early?” “Going shooting, where are you?” “Going to a hospital.” — Her soft eyes which had been fixed caressingly on mine grew for an instant serious. — “Nonsense.” “It's true.”

— I laughed, not knowing what to make of it, and then she smiled again, and my prick throbbed and began erecting, as I then thought of the hair on her cunt. — As far as I can recollect, thinking of her cuntal ornament was thro noticing that she'd unusually thick eyebrows

— How strangely ideas connect. — My prick gave a final jerk and stood fully erect. “I wish I were going to bed with you instead.” “Oh! indeed.” She looked down, then at me, then at the ground again. “Yes, it would be warm there.” “You haven't much to complain of the cold.” — I'd very warm winter clothes on.

— “No, but you are not too warm.” — “All I've got warm is up the spout to buy this.” — Shewing the parcel. — “Let us go to bed in the warm, and I'll take your things out of the spout.” “I'm damned,” said she, and laughed shaking her head. Then she turned round and walked on after first looking towards the house which the other women had entered. I followed her.