On the Wings of Hope : Prose

General description. Along with representative of kind “Cop Mobile

”, given kind of Cops also appeared on a horizon rather recently due to that oh-so-unstoppable development of High Information Technologies, and no less rapid development of so-called “pirates”. Let’s note that by this term we mean, certainly, not quite harmless ship looters of 15-18th centuries, but much more terrible, brutal and cruel representatives of information intellectual piracy of 21th century. There is no chance for comparison between all weight of terrible crime on intellectual property misuse with some innocent robberies and sinking of ships, carried out by representatives of “classical” piracy. And just exactly for fighting against such intellectual terrorists of 21th century a special breed of Cops, named by us as “Cop Piratic”, has been synthesized.

Representatives of this kind possess rather high (especially when we talk of “Cop Toothbreaking

” ones) mental abilities, however, a sort of work, typical for all representatives of Cops class nevertheless leaves its mark on them. Representatives of given kind unite in specialized departments “HHH” (Hu Hacked Homputer), specially formed for revealing of illegal actions of network terrorists. It’s necessary to add, that besides struggling against illegal distribution of legal digital content one of the task of Cops of given kind is a struggle against various kinds of network attacks, such as DDOS, Smurf, Ping’O’Death and similar to them, by naming of which we shall not tire the reader (because even these representatives of Cops get tired from the same procedure considerably), however, no essentials successes (except for catching of “cool-hackers” of modem pools) have not yet been achieved.

Rating of efficiency and moral qualities. Any representative of given kind owns in perfection skills of turning on and off a desktop computer, launching MustDie, reading of opposite to current authority Internet sites and (in rare cases) organizing of network ping, whoise’ing and traceroute’ing. The most advanced individuals of family are capable to master hardly (and having collected documentation bales) learn Linux. Skills of fire arms handling are generally limited to usage of rocket launcher in Quake game. Among other useful skills it’s necessary to mention the highest ability to quickly and operatively play solitaire.

Recommended behavior upon meeting.

You will never meet them. For all day long they are sitting in their stuffy offices in front of their computers, strenuously (and, judging by the growth of their departments, quite successfully) pretending to be engaged into sacred work of fighting with planet’s computer terrorism. It’s possible to judge about their considerably successes by regularly published chronicles of how a next dangerous sixteen-year-old hacker from Some-long-forgotten-town, who has secretly logged into computer of his neighbor and sucked away from it all porn-content, have been successfully located and liquidated. It’s difficult to say whether it’s a merit of representative of given kind, or a problem of absence of due sexual education of the newborn hacker, but, well, law-burying forces know that better, no doubt. Let them struggle against world onanism, only not to disturb normal people.

6. Cop Foolish

General description.

Also known as “coppa”, as well as “epaulets fool”, and even as “cops moron” or “yeah-you-are”. Is being characterized by foolishness, idiocy, bureaucratism, infantilism, lack of initiative, sado-masochism and racism. A typical representative of cops bureaucratic machine - pathos and silly, tiresome and avaricious. The only quite developed ability is a skill of working with paper affairs, for any cops department through all time of its existence have surely gathered whole cases and lockers of papers of various kinds.

Rating of efficiency and moral qualities. Moral is absent. As well as qualities. It’s possible to judge of efficiency through TEPH indicator (Tons of exhausted paper / hour) - for typical representative it’s somewhat about 0.5 (so called “fifty-fufti”).

Recommended behavior upon meeting. It’s easier to find a nearest wall in a cops department and perform a sacred act of separating one’s soul from a body, than to try to solve any question with representatives of given kind - they are gonna eat all your patience and brains, yay!

7. Cop Oral