Princess' Diaries

Me:Hi, Michael. I did all those problems you gave me. But I still don’t see why you couldn’t just look at the train schedule to find out what time a train traveling at 67 miles per hour will arrive in Fargo, North Dakota, if it leaves Salt Lake City at 7A.M.

Michael:So. Princess of Genovia, huh? Were you ever going to share that little piece of info with the group, or were we all supposed to guess?

Me:I was kind of hoping no one would ever find out.

Michael:Well, that’s obvious. I don’t see why, though. It’s not like it’s a bad thing.

Me:Are you kidding me? Of course it’s bad!

Michael:Did youread the article in today’sPost, Thermopolis?

Me:No way. I’m not going to read that trash. I don’t know who this Carol Fernandez thinks she is, but—

Then Lilly got into the act. It was like she couldn’t stand not to get involved.

Lilly:So you’re not aware that the crown prince of Genovia—namely, your father—has a total personal worth which, including real estate property and the palace’s art collection, is estimated at over three hundred million dollars?

Well, I guess it’s pretty obvious thatLilly read the article in today’sPost.

Me:Um . . . 

Hello? Three hundred million dollars?? And I get a lousy $100 a day???

Lilly:I wonder how much of that fortune was amassed by taking advantage of the sweat of the common laborer.

Michael:Considering that the people of Genovia have traditionally never paid income or property taxes, I would say none of it. What iswith you, anyway, Lil?

Lilly:Well, ifyou want to tolerate the excesses of the monarchy, you can be my guest, Michael. But I happen to think that it’s disgusting, with the world economy in the state it’s in today, for anyone to have a total worth of three hundred million dollars . . .  especially someone who never did a day’s work for it!

Michael:Pardon me, Lilly, but it’s my understanding that Mia’s father works extremely hard for his country. His father’s historic pledge, after Mussolini’s forces invaded in 1939, to exercise the rights of sovereignty in accordance with the political and economic interests of neighboring France in exchange for military and naval protection in the event of war might have tied the hands of a lesser politician, but Mia’s father has managed to work around that agreement. His efforts have resulted in a nation that has the highest literacy rate in Europe, some of the best educational attainment rates, and the lowest infant mortality, inflation, and unemployment rates in the Western Hemisphere.