Rumble Tumble

Brett picked up her purse, opened it, gave him a ten dollar bill. “That’s pretty close to tapping me out,” she said.

“Gracias,” said the little Mexican, then fired off something very fast in Spanish, got up, and left.

“What did he say?” I asked.

“He hopes you don’t die,” Herman said.

It was late at night when I awoke, hurting like holy hell. Brett was sitting on the floor with her head next to the seat where I lay. When I turned to look at her, I saw she was awake.

“How you feeling?” she said.

“Shitty.”

“I’ve got some aspirin. I can get you some water.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

Brett disappeared for a moment, came back with aspirin and a canteen. She had to hold my head up. I took ten aspirin and a sip of water.

“I owe you, Hap Collins,” Brett said.

“Hope you don’t think so,” I said. “Except in sexual favors, of course.”

“I’d give you a blow job, but frankly my guess is your dick stinks and you’ve bled all over it from your thigh. On top of that, you haven’t had a bath in a while.”

“Neither have you,” I said.

“Yes, but I brought perfume and I never soil my underwear.”

“Not even when I make you hot?”

“I guess that’s an exception.”

“How’s Tillie?”

“She’s still out. I think she’ll be all right, though. It’s you I’m worried about.”

“I feel weak, but all right. I get something to eat, a big glass of ice tea, and I’ll be ready to rock and roll. After a month of bed rest.”

“Soon as you get better, what you’ll be doing in bed won’t pass for rest.”

“You’re going to have your work cut out for you with Tillie, Brett.”

“I know.”

“You don’t just come out of a life like that and take up choir practice and run supermarket errands.”

“I don’t know. Maybe Tillie would love that sort of thing now. Maybe she’s through rebelling.”

“At her age, she’s not rebelling, Brett. She’s living a lifestyle.”

“Don’t depress me. Not after all we’ve accomplished.”

“Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to.”

27

I slept painfully, but the next morning, just before daylight, I was a little stronger. Out of the pack Bill had brought he produced some tins of sardines. We opened the cans and ate the fish with our fingers. I found that I not only had an appetite, but was feeling better. Not strong enough to jerk my dick, maybe, but at least strong enough to hold it and think about the motions.

After I had eaten, Leonard helped me get into my clothes and shoes. I tried to stand, but couldn’t. Leonard went outside and came back carrying Irvin in a fireman’s carry. He put Irvin in one of the seats, propped him up and started slapping him.

Not too hard at first, but he picked up the pace.

“Easy,” I said.

“You just relax,” Leonard said, “and leave the slapping to me.”

He slapped Irvin some more. Irvin opened one eye and tried to grab Leonard’s wrist, but Leonard grabbed his, bent Irvin’s arm at the elbow, and put a reverse gooseneck on his wrist. It was enough to make Irvin sober for a moment.

“Goddamn!” Irvin said. “You’re hurtin’ me.”

“Man, I hate that,” Leonard said. “You done had you a good night’s sleep, so what we want for you to do is fly us out of here.”

“Fly you out,” Irvin said. “I can’t even see!”

“What I want,” Leonard said, “is for your vision to improve dramatically.”

“I’m sick,” Irvin said.

“I don’t give a shit,” Leonard said. “Fly us out.”

“In broad daylight!” Irvin said. “You can’t do it in broad daylight.”

“Is there another place we can park for the day?” Herman asked. “Some place away from this village?”

“I know one or two,” Irvin said. “But we’re not that well fueled. We’d be stretching it.”

“Is it possible?” Leonard asked.

“Yeah, it’s possible,” Irvin said, “but we might have to fart in the tank to finish out the ride. We make it, it’ll be by a cunt hair.”

“Where is this place?” Herman asked.

“It’s not a landing strip,” Irvin said. “It’s not even a field like this. It’s just a place. I put down there once because I had to. Ground’s flat enough, I suppose. It’s south of here. But it’s stretching the fuel, I’m tellin’ you.”

“Sittin’ here is stretching our odds,” Leonard said. Then he called to the back. “Any sardines left?”

“Yeah,” Bill said.

“Feed this asshole, and let’s go.”

“Fuck the sardines,” Irvin said. “Don’t talk to me about sardines. I can’t eat that shit, way I been drinkin’. I don’t eat that shit when I’m sober.”

“Then you do whatever you need to do short of another drink,” Leonard said. “Lift us out of here. Go where you need to go. And come dark, you fly our asses back to Texas. Herman, you want that midget, I’d load him on board now, and get all his little cowboy suit accessories too. And let’s keep things like they been. Meanin’ people got guns keep guns, and those don’t got guns don’t get guns. And Herman, I don’t much like the fact you got a gun.”

Herman didn’t respond. He was still carrying the Winchester we had given him. He put it down on the seat next to Leonard, went outside to get Red out of the jeep.