Some Buried Caesar

For the Warden, the District Attorney, the At- torney-General, the State Legislature, and the Governor.

MINIMUM BASIC DEMANDS OF THE CROWFIELD COUNTY PRISONERS UNION

1. Recognition of the C.C.P.U.

2. The closed shop.

3. Collective bargaining on all controversial matters ex- cept date of release and possession by our members of objects which could be used for attack or escape.

4. No lockouts.

5. Food. (Food may be defined as nutritive material ab- sorbed or taken into the body of an organism which serves for purposes of growth, work or repair, and for the main- tenance of the vital processes.) We don't get any.

6. Running water in all cells.

7. Abolition of all animals smaller than rabbits.

8. Cell buckets of first grade enamel with good lids.

9. Daily inspection of bedding by a committee of public- spirited citizens, with one member a woman.

10. Adequate supply of checkers and dominoes.

11. Soap which is free of Essence of Nettles, or what- ever it is that it now contains.

12. Appointment by our President of a Committee on Bathing, with power to enforce decisions.

Signed this 15th day of September, 1938.

ARCHIE GOODWIN, President. BASIL GRAHAM, Vice-President, Secretary and Treasurer.

Four other signatures followed.

I looked up with a dissatisfied frown. It was all right for a start, but there were 21 people inhabiting that corridor by actual count. I said in a resolute tone, "It has to be 100 per cent before nightfall. The fact is, Basil, you may be all right as Vice-President and/or Secretary and/or Treasurer, but you're no damn good as an agitator. You didn't get anybody."

He put the brush down. "Well," he said, "you made 3 mistakes. Demand number 9 will have to be amended by striking out the last five words. They simply don't like the idea of a woman poking around the cells. Demand number 12 is bad in toto. Even when he's out of jail a man resents having his personal liberties interfered with, and when he's in jail the feeling is greatly intensified. But worst of all was your offering them a dime apiece to join. That made them suspicious and we're going to have a hard time overcoming it."

"I don't see you making any strenuous effort."

"Is that so. I could make a suggestion right now. Are you game to step it up to two bits per capita?"

"But you said-"

"Never mind what I said. Are you?"

"Well…" I figured it. "Three seventy-five. Yes."