Southern Lights: A Novel

“Hi,” Alexa said, smiling broadly. He looked like a sweet boy, and so young. And as she looked at him, she remembered that he had lost his mother and felt sorry for him.

“It’s very nice to meet you, ma’am. I’ve heard a lot of great things about you from Savannah.” He was very southern and very polite, but looked sincere.

“I’ve heard some pretty nice things about you too. How was the game?”

“We won,” he said, grinning and pleased, as Savannah smiled at him and then her mother.

“Turner scored the winning points. Two of them,” she said proudly, as her mother looked at them both and felt a thousand years old, but happy for them.

She took them to their favorite hangout for a burger and shake. They chatted easily for an hour, and then Savannah and her mother went back to the hotel to get their nails done. It was a luxury they both enjoyed. Alexa told her daughter that she liked Turner very much, and Savannah looked delighted.

When they went back to the room after their manicures, Alexa told Savannah what had happened at lunch. She never kept secrets from her. They were best friends as well as mother and daughter, although Alexa was always clear what her role was, as the mother.

“Daddy asked me in a roundabout way today if I’d come back to him—he said that he still loves me and regrets what he did.”

“What did you say to him?” Savannah asked with interest, watching her mother’s eyes. She looked happy, happier than she had in a long time.

“I told him never to say that to me again. It’s enough if we can be friends. That in itself is a miracle after what happened. I could never trust him again. I would never, ever trust him. And I don’t want to go there again.”

“What did he say?”

“I think he was shocked,” Alexa said honestly.

“Was he pissed?”

“I don’t think so. Sad maybe. It wasn’t even fair for him to ask me, or imply it. It’s been too long, and he hurt me too much.” Savannah nodded. She agreed. She knew how hurt her mother had been, or could guess.

“I understand, Mom. I think you did the right thing.” Even Savannah remembered her mother crying for hours every day, for years. It had been a terrible time. He couldn’t just walk back in now, because he was bored and didn’t like the choice he made. What about Alexa and what it had done to her? “I don’t think he’ll ever leave Luisa anyway,” Savannah said wisely. “She runs the show. And he lets her do it.”

“He always did,” Alexa said quietly, “even when he was married to me, at the end. They deserve each other.” Savannah nodded, although she felt sorry for her father too. Luisa was a terrible person. But he had made that choice, twice.

They had a wonderful evening and talked late into the night. Turner called Savannah, and Alexa invited him to brunch with them the next day. And Travis called them in the morning. He wanted to see Alexa, and he and Scarlette dropped by after church for a few minutes. Savannah and Alexa were too lazy to go this time, and they didn’t want to run into Luisa again. They were glad they hadn’t gone when Travis said they had just gone to church with his mother.

He sat down with Alexa in their living room and talked about old times, and his life now. He apologized for not writing to her, and she said she understood. He had been young and his mother had forbidden it. Alexa knew that, although out of loyalty to his mother he didn’t say it. He was as polite and sweet as he had been as a child, and he was very proud when he introduced her to Scarlette. She seemed like a nice girl, and Alexa hoped they would make each other happy. They talked about the wedding for a few minutes and how stressful it was organizing everything, and then they left. They were going to have lunch with Scarlette’s parents to work on the guest list for the wedding.

The rest of the day sped by, and then it was time for Alexa to leave again. Tom met them in the lobby, as he had before, to pick up Savannah. Alexa thanked him again for lunch the day before. He had taken to heart all that she had said, and he met her eyes sadly.

“Thank you for being willing to have lunch with me.” He realized now what a concession it had been for her, and how brave she had to be to do it. He understood now more than ever how much he had hurt her. He had focused on his own pain and loss for almost eleven years, but had never fully understood the depth of hers, and now he did. He had lost her forever. Just when he wanted her back. For her, it was way too little way too late, and no matter how much she had loved him, he was a man she could never trust again. For Tom, it felt awful. Hope died in him the day before. For Alexa, it had died ten years before.