I
was increasingly convinced that the Hour was near; that Bassam was waiting for a signal to play his part in the end of the world — he would disappear for much of the day, during prayer times; he pretended to be happy when I suggested we go out for a bit, change neighborhoods, enjoy the city that held its arms out to us; he managed to pretend for half an hour, to go into raptures over one or two girls and three shop windows, then he’d become silent again, snapped up by his memories, his plans, or his hatred. When I grilled him he’d look at me with his simpleton’s face, his eyes incredulous, as if he didn’t have the slightest clue as to what I was talking about, and I began to doubt, I told myself I was exaggerating, that the ambiance, the Street of Thieves, and Judit’s illness were beginning to get to me, so I’d promise myself not to mention it to him again — until night came, when he’d disappear for two or three hours, God knows where, in the company of his random Pakistani pals and he’d return, silent, with the lost, tremulous gaze of someone wanting to ask a question, taking Mounir’s place on the sofa, and my doubts and questions would reappear. One day I noticed that he had come back with a plastic bag, bizarre for someone who never bought himself anything, who owned almost nothing, aside from a few pieces of clothing which he ritually washed by hand every night before bed — I glanced into it when he went to piss; the package contained four new cellphones of a very simple model, I remembered the modus operandi of the Marrakesh attack, of course I couldn’t resist, I asked him the question, he didn’t seem angry that I’d searched through his things, just a little tired of my suspicions, he answered very simply it’s a little business with my pals from down there, if you like I can get you one free of charge — the naturalness of his answer disarmed me, and I fell silent.I was probably going mad, completely paranoid.
ONE
day I couldn’t stand it anymore, I talked about it with Judit. She was still in the hospital, the operation kept being delayed: major budget cuts had forced the hospital to close a wing of its operating theaters — and there were always more urgent cases to be operated on.Núria wasn’t there, we were alone in her room; she was sitting in the visitor’s chair, and I was on the floor next to her. I hesitated for a long time, and I said to her, you know, I wonder if Bassam is preparing for something.
She leaned toward me.
“Something dangerous, you mean?”
“Yes, something like Marrakesh or Tangier. But I’m not sure. It’s just a possibility.”
I thought of Bassam’s new gaze, so empty, so lost, so suffering.
Judit sighed, and we stayed silent like that for a while.
“And what’re you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
She leaned over to stroke my forehead, and then she sat down next to me, on the floor, her back leaning against the bed, she held me tight and we embraced for a long time.
“Don’t worry, I know you’ll make the right decision.”