The Last Samurai

Well, as you probably know the exchange of gifts is quite a big thing in Japan and part of it is that the gift has to be wrapped up the right way. People go there and they miss the point. They think the thing the Japanese are really worried about is wrapping it up to look right it doesn’t matter if what’s inside is a piece of shit. I thought: That’s what I’m supposed to do, they’ve already bought the wrapping paper and now I’m expected to give them a piece of shit that will fit the paper, I’m supposed to be a true professional and feel good about it because I gave them something that would fit the paper. I thought: There’s no point in talking about this.

Well, the big night came and people had bought their tickets to hear I think it was six Chopin Mazurkas the Barcarolle three Nocturnes and a Sonata. I thought: Well as long as I play the Mazurkas Barcarolle Nocturnes and Sonata it can’t matter what else I play. I’m not saying the total package was what I would have chosen but I wanted to have the sound of the piano against the contrast of percussion in its purest form and the Chopin part had already been agreed. So I had I think it was about four hours of the drums and then also six Mazurkas one Barcarolle three Nocturnes one Sonata and six Mazurkas.

ST: With the result that a lot of people missed the 11:52 out of Paddington and were not very happy.

Yamamoto: With the result that people missed the 11:52 out of Paddington.

ST: And now you haven’t given a concert in about two years?

Yamamoto: That’s right.

ST: But you’ve promised the Royal Festival Hall that no one is going to miss their train this time.

Yamamoto: Nobody is going to be walking the streets of London at two in the morning.

ST: Was that hard?

Yamamoto: I feel pretty good about it.

It said at the end that Yamamoto was appearing that night at the Royal Festival Hall.

L though not complaining looked miserable. I kept thinking about the enchantingly beautiful fragments which could not be part of the finished whole. I kept thinking of the Mazurkas against a background of percussion in its purest form. Then I thought I should be attentive to the needs of my child, who looked absolutely miserable.

I said: How would you like to go to the South Bank Centre?

L looked surprised.

I said: We can get a table to work at, and afterwards we can go to a concert.

He said: I don’t want to go to a concert.

I said: You can have a table all to yourself.

He said: Can I have an ice cream?

I said: Yes

He said: Can I have Häagen-Dazs?

I said: Yes. If they have it.

He said: Done.

I said: OK. Try to act like a rational human being.

We went to the Royal Festival Hall and I found a table as far as possible from any place selling something to eat. Ludo spread out Call of the Wild, White Fang, Fergus, Pete, Tar-Kutu, Marduk, SQUID!, SHARK!, WOLF!, KILLER WHALE!, and True Tales of Survival on a separate table. Every so often he ran off to run up and downstairs then came back then ran off then came back to work on Odyssey 24. Oh well.

I had already bought Ludo a pencil flashlight at Embankment. I now bought two tickets for the concert at the cheapest price. At 8:00 I checked the pushchair, minus Call of the Wild, at the cloakroom over stiff opposition from an unhelpful attendant, and I explained to Ludo that if he got bored he could read Call of the Wild. I took him to the toilet and he said he didn’t have to go. I pointed out that he now knew where the toilets were, & I said that if he needed to go in the middle of the concert he could go because we had aisle seats.

I bought a programme because I thought it might have some more interesting remarks by Yamamoto. The programme for the evening was: Beethoven: 15 Variations in E and Fugue on a Theme from Prometheus, Op. 35 (Eroica Variations); Brahms: Variations on a Theme by Robert Schumann, Op. 9; Webern: Variations for Piano, Op. 27. Interval. Brahms Ballades, Op. 10: No. 1 in D minor, based on the old Scottish ballad Edward; No. 2 in D major; No. 3 in B minor; No. 4 in B major.

There was a certain feeling of suspense (or at least I thought there was) as the concertgoers walked through the doors, because people were half expecting to see a collection of drums. Instead there was only a grand piano. Yamamoto walked onstage and there was a round of applause. He sat down and began to play the Eroica Variations.

The Eroica Variations came to an end and there was a round of applause. Yamamoto walked offstage and returned and sat down. He began to play the Variations on a Theme by Robert Schumann.

The Variations on a Theme by Robert Schumann came to an end and there was a round of applause. Yamamoto walked offstage and returned and sat down. He began to play Webern’s Variations for Piano, Op. 27.