The Professor / Учитель. Книга для чтения на английском языке

“I suppose the affair has been conducted as such affairs always are amongst rational people: you offered her your youth and your talents – such as they are[444] – in exchange for her position and money: I don’t suppose you took appearance, or what is called LOVE, into the account – for I understand she is older than you, and Brown says, rather sensible-looking than beautiful. She, having then no chance of making a better bargain, was at first inclined to come to terms with you, but Pelet – the head of a flourishing school – stepped in with a higher bid[445]; she accepted, and he has got her: a correct transaction – perfectly so – business-like and legitimate. And now we’ll talk of something else.”

“Do,” said I, very glad to dismiss the topic, and especially glad to have baffled the sagacity of my cross-questioner – if, indeed, I had baffled it; for though his words now led away from the dangerous point, his eyes, keen and watchful, seemed still preoccupied with the former idea.

“You want to hear news from X – — ? And what interest can you have in X – — ? You left no friends there, for you made none. Nobody ever asks after you – neither man nor woman; and if I mention your name in company, the men look as if I had spoken of Prester John[446]; and the women sneer covertly. Our X – — belles must have disliked you. How did you excite their displeasure?”

“I don’t know. I seldom spoke to them – they were nothing to me. I considered them only as something to be glanced at from a distance; their dresses and faces were often pleasing enough to the eye: but I could not understand their conversation, nor even read their countenances. When I caught snatches of what they said, I could never make much of it[447]; and the play of their lips and eyes did not help me at all.”

“That was your fault, not theirs. There are sensible, as well as handsome women in X – — ; women it is worth any man’s while to talk to, and with whom I can talk with pleasure: but you had and have no pleasant address; there is nothing in you to induce a woman to be affable. I have remarked you sitting near the door in a room full of company, bent on hearing, not on speaking; on observing, not on entertaining; looking frigidly shy at the commencement of a party, confusingly vigilant about the middle, and insultingly weary towards the end. Is that the way, do you think, ever to communicate pleasure or excite interest? No; and if you are generally unpopular, it is because you deserve to be so.”

“Content!” I ejaculated.

“No, you are not content; you see beauty always turning its back on you; you are mortified and then you sneer. I verily believe all that is desirable on earth – wealth, reputation, love – will for ever to you be the ripe grapes on the high trellis: you’ll look up at them; they will tantalize in you the lust of the eye; but they are out of reach: you have not the address to fetch a ladder, and you’ll go away calling them sour.”