The Secret to Success

Whatever his step grandmother cooked for breakfast, lunch or dinner, Bob made sure I got a plate. In the morning he unlocked the door and let me take a hot shower. If you looked the word loyal up in the dictionary, you would probably see a picture of Bob. I learned that a real friendship is not about what you can get, but what you can give. Real friendship is about making sacrifices and investing in people to help them improve their lives.

Lesson 4: Maintain a positive outlook.

I am a firm believer that a person does good when he feels good. A lot of people like to downplay power of thinking positively and being a positive person. Being around Bob convinced me that there is real power in positivity. I don’t care what the weather was or what day of the week it was, Bob kept a smile on his face and a song in his heart. No matter what the circumstances were, Bob had a positive outlook on life. Whenever I was in his presence I forgot I was homeless. I think the fact that Bob had been through his own personal struggles and managed to keep his head up and remain positive made his witness that much stronger. He wasn’t some kid born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but he used the principles of positivity to get through his own struggles. Bob lived in a three-bedroom house with his four brothers, his grandparents and his stepmother, and her three daughters. His grandfather was the sole breadwinner for the household. His mother was a substance abuser and was in and out of his and his brothers’ lives, but no one would have ever known that my boy, Bob, wasn’t born into royalty. He walked like it, he talked like it, he carried himself like it, and he forced the people who knew and loved him to treat him like it. It was that bravado that transformed my thinking and gave me energy to keep pressing toward my goals. After being in his presence I was convinced that positive people enjoy certain luxuries; they experience deeper joy and go through less stress than pessimistic people do. Through Bob I learned to look at hardships as learning experiences and even on the most miserable day I could hold the promise that tomorrow is a new day that promises to be better.

Lesson 5: Never underestimate the power of words.

I truly believe that life and death are in the power of the tongue. I believe we have to be careful about the messages that we allow to enter our minds and the messages we convey to others because words have such power. I am a living witness that words that are spoken to you can bring forth life to your soul or death to your soul. I know this first hand because Bob’s words coached me back to life. I remember Bob talking to me about some college down south called Oakwood. He was so animated and excited about it (later I found out that he had never even visited the school). He talked about how he thought it was the perfect college for me and that he thought I should go and study ministry. After Bob got me all excited, I found some literature on the school at church and began dreaming about the possibilities of going there some day.

I learned from Bob the power of words and how they can influence lives. There have been times in my life when close family members and friends spoke words that crushed me. “You are going to be just like your biological father, you’ll never qualify for that or you’re not smart enough to do that.” Words in the hands of the wrong people can not only crush your spirit, but they can also derail your dreams, skew your self-image, and hurt your heart. Bob’s words of life brought me in touch with the two most critical relationships in my life today. The first one was with my first real relationship with a female and the second was my relationship with Jesus Christ.

Lesson 6: A true friend respects your values.