The Servants of Twilight

She fidgeted, managed to look angry and dispirited and frightened and embarrassed all at the same time. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath and said, "Well, uh, maybe.

just maybe. it's God's way of punishing me for failing as a nun, for breaking my mother's heart, for drifting away from the Church after once having been so close to it."

, SBut that's. "

"Ridiculous?" she suggested.

"Well, yes."

She nodded." I know."

"God isn't spiteful."

"I know," she said sheepishly." It's silly. Illogical. Just plain dumb. Yet… it gnaws at me. Silly things can be true sometimes."

She sighed and shook her head." I'm proud of Joey, fiercely proud, but I'm not proud of being an unwed mother."

"You were going to tell me about the father… in case he might have something to do with this. What was his name?"

"He told me his name was Luke-actually Lucius-Under."

"Under what?"

"That was his last name. Under. Lucius Under, but he told me to call him Luke."

"Under. It's an unusual name."

"It's a phony name. He was probably thinking about getting me out of my underwear when he made it up," she said angrily, and then she blushed.

Clearly, she was embarrassed by these personal revelations, but she forged ahead." It happened aboard a cruise ship to Mexico, one of those Love Boat-type excursions." She laughed without humor when she spoke of love in this context." After I left the sisterhood and spent a few years working as a waitress, that trip was the first treat I gave myself I met a man only a few hours out of L.A. Very handsome.

charming. Said his name was Luke. One thing led to another.

He must have seen how vulnerable I was because he moved in like a shark.

I was so different then, you see, so timid, very much the little ex-nun, a virgin, utterly inexperienced. We spent five days together on that ship, and I think most of it was in my cabin. in bed. A few weeks later, when I learned I was pregnant, I tried to contact him. I wasn't after support, you understand. I just thought he had a right to know about his son."

Another sour laugh." He'd given me an address and phone num-her, but they were phony. I considered tracking him down through the cruise line, but it would've been so. humiliating." She smiled ruefully." Believe me, I've led a tame life ever since. Even before I knew I was pregnant, I felt. soiled by this man, that tawdry shipboard affair. I didn't want to feel like that again, so I've been.

well, not exactly a sexual recluse. but cautious. Maybe that's the ex-nun in me. And it's definitely the ex-nun in me that feels I need to be punished, that maybe God will punish me through Joey."

He didn't know what to tell her. He was accustomed to providing physical, emotional, and mental comfort for his clients, but spiritual comfort wasn't something he knew how to supply.

"I'm a little crazy on the subject," she said." And I'll probably drive you a little crazy with all my worrying. I'm always scared that Joey'll get sick or be hurt in an accident. I'm not just talking about ordinary motherly concern. Sometimes.

I'm almost obsessed with worry about him. And then yesterday this old crone shows up and tells me that my little boy is evil, says he's got to die, comes prowling around the house in the middle of the night, kills our dog. Well, God, I mean, she seems so relentless, so inevitable."

"She's not," Charlie said.

"So now that you know a little something about Evelyn.

my mother. do you still think she could be involved in this?"

"Not really. But it's still possible the old woman heard your mother talking about you, talking about Joey, and that's how she fixated on you."

"I think it was probably just pure chance. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time. If we hadn't been at the mall yesterday, if it had been some other woman with her little boy, that old hag would have fixated on them instead."

"I imagine you're right," he said.

He got up from the desk.

"But don't you worry about this crazy person," he said.

"We'll find her."

He went to the window.

"We'll put a stop to this harassment," he said." You'll see."

He looked out, over the top of the date palm. The white van was still parked across the street. The man in dark clothes was still leaning against the front fender, but he was no longer eating lunch. He was just waiting there, arms folded on his chest, ankles crossed, watching the front entrance of the building.

"Come here a minute," Charlie said.

Christine came to the window.

"Could that be the van that was parked beside your car at the mall? "

"Yeah. One like that."

"But could this be the same one?"

"You think I was followed this morning?"

"Would you have noticed if you had been?"

She frowned." I was in such a state… so nervous, upset…

I might not have realized I was being tailed, not if it was done with at least some circumspection."

"Then it could be the same van."

"Orjust a coincidence."

"I don't believe in coincidences."

"But if it's the same van, if I was followed, then who's the man leaning against it?"