The Stainless Steel Rat for President

"I want you to succeed because you are a man of utmost honor. I believe that truly." "I believe that I am a crook, though I thank you for the kind words. "Though the police of a hundred planets probably wouldn't agree with you." "I do not understand you-but I believe in you. Tell me. Why did you leave the safety of the car and risk being killed?" "Nothing else I could do. That soldier was under the wheels. He would have been killed when we drove ahead." "But you risked everything, everyone, for that man's life. How could one man's life be so important?" "You've just said it yourself. What else is there more important than one person's life? That is all he is ever going to have. All that any of us will ever have. One single shot at existence, with nothing before and nothing to come. What you see is what you get. That's all there is, there ain't no more.

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She shook her head. "But mv religion tells of the afterUIIVJ J11Wn 11Cil ll~jaU· UUC lily Ir;ll~jlvll rrjllJ vl LI•~. J rur~JA life..." "Good for you. I hope you enjoy the theology. I never knock another man's beliefs, and in turn I expect to be respected for mine. Stated very simply, I face reality and admit that not only isn't there anyone at home upstairs-there isn't even any upstairs. I have one life and I intend to make the most of it. Therefore it follows naturally that if I firmly believe this, why then I cannot deprive another person of their turn at existence. Only the very self-assured political and religious zealots kill people in order to save them. Live and let live, I say. Help the good guys and kick out the bad." "Well spoken. Dad," Bolivar said, appearing behind Flavia. "Now isn't it time you got some rest? I'll take over the guard." "Thanks. I'm beginning to think that's not a bad idea at all." He nodded agreement but was looking at Flavia instead of me, and she was returning the look with equal intensity. "Well, I think I'll just totter off. Flavia, if you're not sleepy, why don't you talk to Bolivar. I'm sure he has a lot of questions to ask you about this planet." They were nodding enthusiastically at the idea when I made my exit. I was nodding to myself as well. Feeling suddenly, well, not exactly old or past it, but definitely as though my generation was being supplanted. Must have been the depressing effect of the drugs or my little religious lecture.

"Brace yourself, Jim, and think strong thoughts!" I muttered to myself as I dropped grateftilly back onto the sleeping bag. "You are the planetary savior and they will build statues of you." Which wasn't too bad a thought and I fell asleep with a smile on mv lins.

Chapter 11

By late afternoon all of the troops were awake and growling for food. My arm was throbbing and felt decidedly uncomfortable. I weighed the relief of dope against a clear head and settled for a clear head. Plans had to be made and a number of alternate courses were already presenting themselves for examination. I shoveled down reconstituted powdered eggs mixed with rehydrated dehydrated bacon, quickly washing the stuff out of sight with caffein condensate. And silently resolved to give more thought to the rations next time we took a trip like this. By the time the plates had been scraped clean my decisions had been made.

"Bolivar, we go to work," I called out magisterially. Was it with some reluctance that he tore himself away from the undisputably charming company of Flavia? Ah youth, youth! "Would you be so kind as to unlimber the large box labeled Top Secret that you will find in the rear compartment." "Hooray! It's about time we found out what was in there." The others gathered around as he plumped the heavy gray container at my side. I looked at the scratches around the lock. "No patience I see. You've been at the lock." "Not me," he said. "That was James. The burns along the seam are where I worked on it. " "And you didn't succeed either. Not only are the contents of this container the latest invention of the great Professor Coypu and the Special Corps laboratory, but the container itself is unenterable, the lock unbreakable. But after I show it my thumprint here, punch in the correct number..." The top of the container slipped aside and they all leaned forward as I reached in and extracted a black metal box. It had a hole in the top and a switch on its side and I held it up for examination.

"Not too impressive," Angelina sniffed.