KATERINA. Yes, I am well…. It would be better if I were ill, it's worse as it is. A dream keeps creeping into my mind, and I cannot get away from it. I try to think—I can't collect my thoughts, I try to pray—but I can't get free by prayer. My lips murmur the words but my heart is far away; as though the evil one were whispering in my ear, and always of such wicked things. And such thoughts rise up within me, that I'm ashamed of myself. What is wrong with me? There's some trouble, something before me! At night I do not sleep, Varia, a sort of murmur haunts me; someone seems speaking so tenderly to me, as it were cooing to me like a dove. And now I never dream, Varia, those old dreams, of trees and mountains in Paradise; but it's as though someone were clasping me passionately—so passionately and leading me, and I follow him, I follow.
VARVARA.
Well?
KATERINA.
But what things I am saying to you, a young girl like you.
VARVARA (
You can tell me! I'm worse than you.
KATERINA.
Oh what am I to tell you? I'm ashamed.
VARVARA.
You've no need! Tell away.
KATERINA. I am stifling, stifling at home, I should like to run away. And the fancy comes to me that if I were my own mistress, I would float down the Volga now, in a boat, to the singing of songs, or I would drive right away clasped close….
VARVARA.
But not with your husband.
KATERINA.
How do you know that?
VARVARA.
As if I didn't know!
KATERINA. Ah, Varia, there is sin in my heart! Alas, how often I have wept, I have done everything I can think of! I can't get free from this sin. I can't escape. Varia, it is wicked, it is a fearful sin—I love someone else!
VARVARA.
I'm not likely to be hard upon you! I've sins enough of my own.
KATERINA. What am I to do? I'm at the end of my strength, where can I find help. I'm so wretched, I shall do something dreadful.
VARVARA. Mercy on us! what is coming to you! Come, wait a bit, brother's going away to-morrow, we'll think of something; maybe, you'll be able to see each other.
KATERINA.
No, no, that must not be! What are you saying! God forbid!
VARVARA.
Why are you frightened?
KATERINA. If I were once to see and speak with him, I should run away from home, I would not go back home for anything in the world.
VARVARA.
Oh well, wait a little, and then we shall see.
KATERINA.
No, no, don't talk to me, I don't want to hear!
VARVARA. Why wear yourself out for nothing? You may die of grieving, do you suppose they'll be sorry for you? Come, wait a bit. Why, what's the good of making yourself miserable?
[
SCENE VIII
The same and the OLD LADY.
OLD LADY. Hey, my pretty charmers? What are you doing here? Waiting for young fellows, waiting for your beaus? Are your hearts merry? Merry are they? Are you pleased and proud of your beauty? That's where beauty leads to. (
[
SCENE IX
KATERINA and VARVARA.
KATERINA. Ah, how she frightened me! I'm trembling all over, as if she were foretelling something for me.
VARVARA.
Her curse fall on her own head, the old witch!
KATERINA.
What was it she said, eh? what did she say?
VARVARA. It was all rubbish. It's silly to listen to her raving. She foretells evil like that to everyone. She was a sinner all her life from her youth up. You should hear the stories they tell about her. So now she's afraid of death. And she must try and frighten others with what she dreads herself. Why even the little street boys hide away from her; she shakes her stick at them and growls (
KATERINA (
Ah, ah, stop! I can't bear it!
VARVARA.
There's nothing to be frightened of! An old fool….
KATERINA. I am afraid, terribly afraid! I seem to see her all the while before us. [
VARVARA (
I say, brother doesn't come, and yonder there's a storm coming up.
KATERINA (
A storm! Let us run home! Make haste!
VARVARA.
Why, are you crazy? How can you show yourself at home without my brother?
KATERINA.
No, let us go home! Never mind him!
VARVARA.
But why are you so awfully frightened? The storm's a long way off yet.
KATERINA. If it's so far off, we'll wait then a little, if you like; but really it would be better to go. Yes, we'd better go home.
VARVARA.
But if anything were to happen, you know, you'd be no safer at home.
KATERINA. No, but still, it's better there, it's quieter; at home one can turn to the holy pictures and pray to God!