The Wanderer

During his and McHeath’s sentry-go, the Little Man had examined the pistol with his small flashlight and an eight-power pocket magnifier, and had discovered a fine scale alongside the violet charge-gage. “It was made by beings with finer eyesight than ours,” he had deduced. He had also discovered something else Margo had never noticed: a tiny, recessed lever on top of the grip — the lever pointed its narrow end at the muzzleward extreme of a similarly fine, circular scale. No one had any firm guess about the function of this lever, and it was decided not to experiment with it.

“I wonder on how many planets it’s killed,” Margo whispered now.

“Yes,” Hunter said, “you look like a vestal Valkyrie guarding the sacred flame of the weapon.” He hitched a little closer to her. She smelled the musk of his sweat.

“Shh — did you hear something then?” she breathed very rapidly. They stubbed out their cigarettes and waited tensely, their eyes scanning. Hunter softly crawled to the ridge crest by a route he’d memorized earlier and checked all around from there, although the other side of the ridge fell away quite precipitously for thirty feet.

The bus-and-truck camp was quiet and there was no sign of alien movement, though the whispering wind made them think of the tomb in the cave five yards away. After a while they arranged themselves as they’d been, and lit up again.

“You know, Margo,” Hunter went on where he’d left off, “I think killing those men brought you to life. It awakened you, maybe for the first time. A primal experience does that to a person.”

She nodded intently with an inward-directed smile. “Everything’s twice as real now,” she whispered. “As if reality were built of solider stuff, and yet I could see and feel more around and into it, especially people’s bodies. It’s wonderful.”

“It’s made you beautiful,” he said, laying his hand on the inside of her wrist. “More beautiful. Beautiful Valkyrie vestal.”

“Why, Ross,” she whispered solemnly, “anyone would think you’re trying to make me.”

“I am,” he said, firming his hand a little on her wrist.

“You have a wife and two boys in Oregon,” she whispered, pulling away, but not quite hard enough to get free.

“They don’t matter,” he said, “though I’m steadily worried about them. But we’re living from day to day now, from second to second. Any hour may be the last. Margo, let me kiss you.”

“I only met you yesterday, Ross. You’re years older than I am…”

Ten, at the most,” he breathed harshly. “Margo, the old rules and shibboleths don’t count. Like Rudy said, it’s para-reality…”

At that moment winds high above them tore the clouds, and they saw the Wanderer in its mandala face with the moon making a glittering half girdle around it. The wonder of that gold-notched violet sphere gripped them, but after a few seconds Ross Hunter put his other arm around Margo and pulled her toward him. She broke away and pointed overhead.

“I have a young man up there,” she said. “He was stationed on that…that diamond jumble. But maybe he got away; maybe he’s on the Wanderer now.”

“I know,” Hunter said, looking only at her face, which now in the Wanderer-light needed no cigarette glow to show it. “I even read about your romance in a magazine. I thought you looked disgustingly snooty and smirking, like you needed to be grabbed by life and manhandled.”

“By you, you mean? And then there’s Paul,” she went on rapidly, “snatched up in a saucer and now God knows where. He’s crazy about me, but all tied up inside. Maybe what’s happening to him now will free him.”

“I don’t care about either of them,” Hunter said, getting up on his knees beside her and holding her by the shoulders. “I have no ethical qualms about taking advantage of the immediate difficulties of younger men crazy about you. You’re beautiful, and whoever gets you first wins. Besides, I know you better than they do, I know the awakened gold-haired Valkyrie, and I’m crazier than they are. Nothing counts now but you and me. Oh, Margo—”

“No!” she said sharply, suddenly standing up from her blanket and wiping his hands down off her arms. “I’m glad you’re crazy about me, but I don’t need you, I don’t need the you-and-me. Just living by myself in the new reality is quite enough; it’s all the excitement I want; it’s using all of me. Understand?”

After a couple of hard breaths he admitted: “O.K., I guess I have to.” Then: “We’d better have a careful scan around with all this new light. You take the western half. Let your eyes get used to it.”

After a minute or so of that, back to back, he began to talk quietly without looking around. “Granting that you’re all absorbed with yourself now, I doubt if you were really ever in love. Paul you bullied and exploited — that was obvious. I imagine you managed…who was it? — oh yes, Don — by flattering his manliness.”

“Interesting,” Margo murmured.