Titans of Chaos

I shrugged and said, "Elect Colin leader if you like, but while I am Dark Mistress of the MerryWee Titans of Chaos, we are going to maintain our dignity and decorum. Makes the boys fightharder."

Well, it was put to a vote of confidence immediately. Vanity voted against me, but could not bringherself to vote for Colin, so she voted for Quentin; Victor and Quentin supported me. I voted forVictor. Colin voted for himself, of course.

Quentin caught my eye and gave me a nod of approval. Quentin was no more likely to offend thesacrament of marriage than Grendel Glum had been. Humans might have some option aboutwhich laws to obey and which to ignore, but I don't think monsters and warlocks do.

"A clear and overwhelming plurality," I sighed. "That's it, people: While in America, we act likePuritans. It's tradition."

Vanity, at this point, asked if we could depart America as soon as possible. She started pointingout the advantages of camping out on some deserted island, and saying how our limited funds hadbeen used for extraordinary extravagances lately.

"A quick trip to the all-night sporting-goods store, to pick up a few needed supplies," Vanity said,

"and then we should be on our way."

Colin nodded somberly and said, "By 'needed supplies,' you mean birth control, right?"

That was too much for Quentin, who did not want to see his beloved called a harlot. He muttereda curse under his breath and made a small gesture with his walking stick. Of course, whenQuentin mutters a curse, it works: Colin hopped as if stung by a bee, yowling in pain andclutching his bum.

Yes, there was an all-night sporting-goods store in San Francisco. The store's loudspeakers werevibrating with energetic dance tunes, and the clerks working there were bright-eyed andhyperactive, no doubt as a side effect. They even had a little elevator just for the sports shoes toride. What a country! The cash that Victor and Vanity still carried was enough to cover the costsof tents and tarps and sleeping bags made of shiny space-age materials I had never heard tell of.

Quentin paid for the cooking gear, knives, a hatchet, and an axe. Victor invested twenty dollars ina Boy Scout Handbook and a U.S. Army Survival Manual.

Vanity called her ship to her, and we all flew over to the deck, either levitating magnetically, or bywarping space-time to deflect gravity, or by uttering a charm to the unseen spirits of the middleair, or by jumping off the docks with a scream that turned in midscream into the shrill of a hawk.