Titans of Chaos

I suppose this has happened to everyone: It is easy enough to say to a magic boat, Find me anuninhabited island, but the first place we made landfall was a rock less than an acre wide,half-submerged at high tide, covered with ice at low tide. There were some tough-looking birds,their feathers gray as lead, who had built their nests among the frost-coated rocks. Nothing elsegrew on the rock but lichen and clinging green seaweed.

We were all shivering in the gray and snowy air, except for Victor, who did not notice cold.

"Vanity!" I said through chattering teeth. "Whose idiot idea was this? I told you to find somedeserted tropical island!"

Vanity stamped her boot against the deck. "You did not! I said just what you said! A desertedisland!"

Colin and Quentin were both looking at me. Oops. First lesson about being a leader. If it goeswrong on your watch, it is your fault. I could have given a different order, been more specific,said something else. Bossing is like an unwritten contract: The men obey your dumb orderswithout question, and in return you don't give any dumb orders. You use your brain. You make theplan. You're in charge.

"At ease, Miss Fair!" I barked out. "We'll say no more about it. Tell the vessel to find someplacewarmer! In the tropics! Double time!"

Vanity squinted at me. Her red hair was being tossed about by the cold wind, and her lips wereblue. "What does 'at ease' mean?"

"It means you don't have to stand at attention."

"I wasn't standing at attention."

"Good. Because you don't have to! Tell the Nautilus to find an island currently empty of man orgod, spirit or spy devices, in a warmer clime, someplace large enough to pitch a tent. Someplacewith grass and trees. Now, step lively, spit spot!"

"What does 'spit spot' mean?" Vanity asked.

Colin said, "It means Amelia thinks she's Mary Poppins now. Quick, send this boat to someplacewarm, or she'll have us clean the nursery while she sings."

It is easy enough to say to a magic boat, Find me a warm and uninhabited island, but if you forgotto say, with a safe anchorage, then you might end up having to fly to shore at night. There was noopening in the reef, no safe passage. Well, I suppose a deserted island has to be deserted for areason.

The necessity gave an excuse to be cunning: We sent the boat on her way, with instructions tovisit the islands of Micronesia in alphabetical order, to lead any magic watching her away fromus.