Where There's Smoke

“It’s just a big decision to have to make. I don’t want to rush into anything.”

“No, of course. It’s okay, I understand.”

The taxi grated to a halt. Kate reached into her bag and handed the driver a note to cover the fare, against Alex’s protests. She put her hand on the door handle. “Well. Goodnight, then.”

“Goodnight.”

There was a moment when neither of them moved, then Kate pressed down the handle and climbed out. “I’ll be in touch by the end of the week,” she told Alex, through the open window.

She phoned him the next evening.

It was a doctor they saw, not the counsellor Kate had met on her first visit to the clinic. The three of them sat in her office around a low, claw and ball-footed table in comfortable leather chairs. Beside them, unused for the moment, was an antique cherrywood desk, dark and rich with the scent of beeswax. Sunlight striped the carpet through the horizontal bars of the fabric blinds. The window itself was closed, but air-conditioning made the office pleasantly cool. The entire hospital seemed to exist in an environment completely separate from the outside world.

“The thing you have to remember, and I really can’t stress this enough, is that legally ‘donor’ and ‘father’ are two different entities,” the doctor was saying to Alex. Dr Janson was an attractive woman in her forties, with carefully styled blonde hair and clothes that supported the hospital’s charges. She had told them that scheduling problems had meant she would see them instead of another counsellor, but Kate wondered if it wasn’t more because she wanted to handle an unusual case herself.

“It doesn’t matter whether the donor is anonymous or, as in this instance, known to the patient,” she continued. “Your responsibility begins and ends with the donation of the sperm. It’s very important that you understand that.”

Alex nodded. He was leaning forward in his chair, listening to what the doctor said with an intent, almost anxious expression. He had been silent for most of the journey from Euston, but then Kate hadn’t felt like talking either.

Satisfied that the point had been made, Dr Janson continued. “Before we go any further, I should say that we’re obliged to offer counselling before you give your consent for your sperm to be stored and used. Not everyone feels they need it, but it’s there if you do. It’s important you fully understand the implications of becoming a donor.”

She waited, a polite smile on her subtly made-up face. Alex glanced uncertainly at Kate. “Er... I don’t think that’s... I mean, no, it’s okay, thanks.”

The doctor inclined her head. “As you wish. Just so long as you’re aware that the offer has been made.”

She took a gold-plated fountain pen from the top pocket of her white coat and unscrewed its cap. “Now, I’ll have to ask you a few questions about your general health and medical background.”

Kate let their voices wash over her as the doctor read out questions and Alex answered. Through the window she could see a small ornamental pond. A miniature willow hung its branches forlornly over the water’s surface. Beyond it, the grounds were set out like a park, a tame landscape of trees and shrubs. This is what I’m paying for. The thought was obscurely disturbing.

She turned away from the window as the doctor handed Alex a sheet of paper. “We need your consent to contact your GP, in case we have to find out more about your medical history, so if you could just fill in this form, please.”

Alex took the form. “I, uh, I don’t have a pen.”

Dr Janson handed him her gold fountain pen. He began to write, then stopped. “Sorry, I don’t, er, I don’t know the surgery’s address.”

His face had gone red. The doctor smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry about it. Just put your GP’s name and then sign it. You can give us the address next time you come. Provided there’s no problem with the blood tests, we probably won’t need it anyway since you’re a known donor.”

Alex wrote quickly and passed back the sheet. The doctor put it to one side and handed him another. “This is a consent form for us to store and use your sperm. Read it carefully before you sign it, and please ask if you have any questions.”

She handed Kate another sheet of paper. “And while he’s doing that, you might as well be filling in your consent form for the treatment.”

It was surprisingly uncomplicated. Kate filled in her name and address, and gave Alex’s name as the donor, then signed it at the bottom. She gave it back to the doctor.

Alex looked up from his own form, frowning. “It says here about giving my consent for my, er, my sperm to be used after my death.”

He stumbled a little over consent.