Will You Love Me in September

"So good for the child," added Priscilla. "The child" by this time was growing up, learning fast. I knew v origins; I had heard myself referred to as precocious, and °h "servants who came from Eversleigh Court whispered together ht I was a "Regular One" and it would not take a Gypsy with a crystal ball to see that I was going to turn out just like my m°I kept up my intention to visit Benjie often. Damaris approved f what she called my thoughtfulness. She said that she would have to come with me, for she would never have a moment's peace thinking of me on the roads after what had happened.

We went to Ayot Abbas and always made sure that we passed through Wokey's Wood, which was the scene of the accident, in daylight, and there was always a well-armed party with us. I enjoyed the adventure of going through those woods, though my memories of Hessenfield were now overshadowed by what had happened. I would think sadly not only of my exciting father but of dear Harriet and Gregory as well.

Anita accompanied us, for Damaris thought I should continue with lessons. I was glad to have her. We had become great friends. Alas, Ayot Abbas seemed quite different without Harriet, and it was depressing because there was evidence of her all over the house.

Damaris said that Benjie should change everything. It was always wise to do so when something had happened which was best forgotten. She looked very serious when she said that, and I thought of the bedroom at Enderby.

"Perhaps we can advise him," said Damaris. "You might have some suggestions, Anita.”

Anita had proved herself to be very good with flower arranging and matching colors.

She told me she had longed to be able to furnish the old rectory where she had lived, but there had never been enough money to do it.

So we went to Ayot Abbas, and Benjie was delighted to see us-especially me-but, oh, how sad he was!

He did say that he was almost glad his father had gone with his Bother, because he would have been so utterly desolate without her. Benjie implied that he was utterly desolate himself.

You must do everything you can to cheer him," Damaris had said to me. "You can do more than anyone.”

Perhaps I should go and live with him," I had said.

Damaris had looked at me steadily. "Is that ... what you want?" she asked.

I flung my arms about her neck then. "No ... no. It is you I want to be with.”

She had been tremendously relieved, and I couldn't help thinking how important I was. Then it occurred to me that all these people wanted me as a sort of substitute-Damaris because she had no child and poor Jeremy had his moods; Benjie wanted me because he had lost Carlotta and now his parents. I was flattered in a way, but I had to face the fact that I was wanted because what all of them really wanted was someone else. I was becoming introspective. It might be because of my talks with Anita.

We rode a good deal-Anita, Benjie and I. Damaris accompanied us sometimes, but she grew tired if she was too long in the saddle, so the three of us went alone. I think Benjie was happier on those rides than at any other time. He was interested in forestry and taught me a great deal. Anita was quite knowledgeable on the subject already.

I started to distinguish between the different species. Benjie waxed enthusiastic about the oaks, which were truly magnificent.

"It's a real English tree," he said. "It has been here since history began. Did you know that the Druids had a very special respect for it? They used to perform their religious rites under it, and courts of justice were held beneath its branches.”

"I believe," said Anita, "that some of these trees live for two thousand years.”

"That's so," answered Benjie. "And our ships are made from the rough timber of these trees. Hearts of oak, they say our ships have.”

I was sure that while he talked of the trees he loved he forgot his sorrow.

Anita wondered why the willow wept and told us that the aspen shivered because from its wood Christ's cross had been made and it had never been able to rest in peace since. She talked of the mistletoe, which was the only tree which had not promised not to harm Balder, the most beautiful of all the northern gods, so that the mischievous Loki had been able to slay him with it.

"I can see, Miss Harley," said Benjie, "that you have a romantic approach to nature.”

"And I can see no harm in that," replied Anita.

Benjie laughed, I think for the first time since the accident.

stopped at inns and drank cider and ate hot bread with ripe and pies straight from the oven. Benjie talked about the T which was his sole responsibility now. I could see that he esta JoiHne something which would absorb his interest and help was secKJ»'& , . , x rim to get over his bereavement.

11 talked about him to Anita.

"He's different from Jeremy," I said. "Jeremy nurses his troubles and although he is happy about being married to Damaris, it isn't enough to make him forget that he was wounded in the 95 "The pain is always there to remind him of that," replied Anita.