Will You Love Me in September

"You have what?" I drew away from him, but he held me firmly and began kissing my face and throat.

"I spoke to Grendall about it," he said. Grendall was the solicitor who managed the Hessenfield inheritance. "He wanted your approval, but as I am your husband he accepted mine. I had to do it for you, Clarissa.”

"Five thousand pounds," I stammered. "Oh-Lance, how could you!”

"How could I not? Could I stand by and see everyone else making a fortune and my little Clarissa being left out!”

For a few moments I was speechless. It was half the money which my father had left me. I was furiously angry-first, because I hated his gambling, which offered him more excitement than I could. This must be so, because he could forget me when the fever was on him. And second, because he had dared act without consulting me.

He tried to soothe me, holding my quivering body against his, tenderly, passionately.

I pulled away from him and sat up.

"How dared you!" I cried. "You cannot resist this urge to gamble. If you must risk money in future, confine yourself to what is yours to risk.”

"Clarissa, my darling, you are really angry, aren't you? Wait until you see what this will bring you.”

"I have no intention of frittering away my fortune, and you have no right to treat me as though you own me and all my possessions.”

"I love you. I only wanted to do what was best for you.”

I jumped out of bed. I wanted to escape from him. I did not want to be soothed and petted until my emotions were aroused and I was ready to forgive him and forget the matter. I felt it was important that he should understand how I felt. He must realize how deeply I resented his action.

He was leaning on his elbow, looking at me with that indulgence I knew so well, refusing to accept that I was serious in my condemnation of him, trying to shrug off this matter as though it were of no importance. It was very important to me.

"You must not think that you are going to placate me with a few soft words," I said.

"Come back to bed and talk reasonably. You'll catch cold standing there.”

"I shall not come back to bed," I said. "I want to think what I shall do. I want to be alone.”

I went toward the powder closet, which was roomy enough to hold a small couch.

"You're surely not going to sleep in there?" cried Lance.

"I told you I want to be alone.”

"It's very cold on that couch and desperately uncomfortable.”

I ignored him and went into the powder closet. I was trembling but not with cold.

Almost immediately he was there beside me. He put his arms about me. "If you insist on sleeping alone," he said, "there is only one course open to me ... or two, rather. I must either offer you the bed and take the couch myself or use the rights of a husband and carry you back to bed. Which shall it be, Clarissa?

Please choose the second alternative for I shall have a very uncomfortable night on that couch.”

He began to laugh, and in spite of everything, I found myself laughing also. It was typical of him to introduce a ridiculous note into a serious situation.

He had picked me up and carried me to the bed. I was momentarily reminded of that first night of our wedding when he had carried me thus. Then I had shivered with apprehension, now it was with resentful anger.

We lay in the bed together. He put his arm about me. I knew that he was trying to arouse desire in me; the act of love would make everything right between us. He always thought that was so. It was the same when he came home after a night of gambling.

But I was not so easily to be won over this time.

"Don't try your blandishments, Lance," I said.

"All right," he answered. "I promise, no blandishments. But just tell me you are not angry with me anymore.”

"But I am," I said. "I am very angry. I want to think about it.”

I moved away from him to the edge of the bed.

"Good night," I said firmly.

He sighed. "Good night, my dearest," he said. "Tomorrow it will seem so different.”

I did not answer. He respected my desire to be left alone and we lay on either sides of the bed.

I was trying to decide what I should do. That he had dared touch my money angered me. He would not be able to play such tricks with the fortune my mother had left, because he would have to deal with Leigh first, and I was sure Leigh would never allow it.

I knew that many husbands would have seized their wives' fortunes. Lance had always behaved as though my money was of no importance to him. He had never shown a great interest in it-so I had thought. Yet he had dared go to Grendall's and use it to buy stock in my name in the South Sea Company.

I pretended to be asleep as I lay there planning what I would do. It was the first time I had been really angry with Lance. True, I had resented those occasions when he disappeared for hours at the gaming tables, deserting me, so I told myself in hurt pride, for the love of the game, but I had always forgotten that resentment when he had come back and charmed me, as he knew so well how to do. This was quite different.