You Don't Know Me

Just then Curt comes wading out of the bathroom where he has been hiding. Ki follows. Both have the same expression on their faces. Puzzled. That’s what you could call it.

‘Hi guys,’ she says at them and receives a hug from Ki who in turn strokes her face as if she is a child.

‘Bless. It’s not safe, why you here babe?’ says Ki who then looks at me for answers. I don’t have any to give.

‘Don’t I get a hug?’ says Curt suddenly and lopes towards her. Bless’s cheeks flush red as he comes close but I don’t know why. Maybe she is nervous. Curt has a habit of making people nervous.

We look at her and wait until she speaks.

‘It’s J-Jamil. I heard a rumour.’

‘What rumour?’ I go.

‘He’s alive, and c-coming out of hospital tomorrow.’

‘Shit. How do you know that?’ I say.

‘Just a rumour. Just kids talking. Th-that’s all they’re saying. He’s been seen and he’s c-coming out of hospital tomorrow.’

‘That boy on the tube wasn’t chatting shit,’ I say to Curt who nods slowly to himself, still chewing toast.

‘Look you have to go now. It’s dangerous,’ I say holding her by the shoulders.

‘Don’t worry, I’m g-going. I didn’t want to phone,’ she says and turns to go. ‘Oh. Mum said come for dinner. Bring the horse too,’ she says looking at Curt and going red once again.

I look at Curt who beams this wide smile at the thought of Mum’s food.

‘Maybe,’ I say, ‘we’ll see.’

Jamil was alive. Not only that but after Curt made a few calls we found out he was up and about already. Word was, exactly like the boy on the tube had said, the bullet went straight through and out the other end. Apparently he would have bled out if it hadn’t been for all that tape we had wrapped him in. Anyway, turned out that the morning after we left him some bin men found some heavy bin bags in that estate. Just rubbish they thought. Anyway, they were just about to dump them in the crusher when it looks like one of the bags starts moving. Poor fuckers got proper shook and dropped him and the boy nearly died a second time. There was proper commotion all round that estate. Feds everywhere. And then next thing you know he was in ICU. Then a normal ward for a few days. And then, just like that, he was out. The Feds were just sniffing round as they do but they weren’t in on it properly yet because Jamil hadn’t blamed anyone for it as far as anyone could tell. They must have tried getting a statement off him but the man was a drug dealer at the end of the day and he wasn’t going to grass anyone up if he wanted to keep his rep up on the streets. Curt was right about that. The question was what was going to happen next.

Ki and I kept ourselves holed up in my flat for the next day or two. When we needed to get anything in I got up early and went out. Gang-bangers like a lie-in and on no street in London will you ever find a soldier on the streets before lunch. So as long as I was up early I knew I was pretty safe.

Curt wanted to keep moving around rather than stay at his own crib because he knew that he could be a target and they might be watching it. But he didn’t have many options so he ended up staying at mine more than he wanted. He still had some allies in Glockz who were able to give him messages and pass on intel, and although at the moment Curt wasn’t really being lined up for the shooting, his name was being passed around.

Then one day about a week after the shooting when we were all at my yard doing the usual, PS3 and pizza ting, trying just to get through the day, Curt gets a call in from Guilty, his General. He freezes when he sees the number. His hand floating over the phone, unsure about pressing answer. But then after about a dozen rings he gulps, answers the call and looks at me eyebrows high. He’s been avoiding this call for days but knows that he has to take it this time.

Curt puts the phone to his ear and nods. A few seconds go by and he nods again as if the person he’s talking to is right there in the room. Finally he speaks.

‘Nah blood, nothing to do with me – mans just lining me up for it innit because I jacked him time ago – I ain’t hiding out bruv. I’m in Wales innit – cousin’s funeral – nah, for real blood – yeah okay. Check you when I’m back innit.’

He put the phone down and breathed again. He looked like he’d just dodged about a hundred bullets. Once he was the right colour again Ki asked him whether he was in the frame for it as far as Glockz were concerned but Curt didn’t think so.

‘Nah, I ain’t hot yet. Guilty’s pissed off for sure but it ain’t coz of this. It’s coz he thinks I’ve come out of the life. He thinks I’ve left Glockz.’

Me and Ki breathe a joint sigh of relief.

‘But I got to come out of the dark soon if I want to stay cold,’ he says. ‘And sooner rather than later.’