She was so small at that time. I felt her just crying and shaking in my arms and it was like she was just a child. The shit she had been through in her life. For what? For just trying to survive and be a – and be a good person?
You people man. Looking at me like – like that. What do you know? Sh-shit she had been through.
I don’t even know why I’m crying in front of you. Do I think it is even going to make a difference to you? Talking to you like I’m ever going to convince you? What, so you can listen all polite while I go on and then at the end of the day send me down? F-fuck you all man. I can’t do this no more, Judge. They can do what they going to do innit. Guilty if they want.
IN THE CENTRAL CRIMINAL COURT T2017229
Before: HIS HONOUR JUDGE SALMON QC
Closing Speeches:
Trial: Day 34
Tuesday 11thJuly 2017
APPEARANCES
For the Prosecution: Mr C. Salfred QC
For the Defendant: In person
Transcribed from a digital audio recording by
T. J. Nazarene Limited
Official Court Reporters and Tape Transcribers
23
So, like, I just want to say sorry. I don’t know why I went off like that yesterday. It was just remembering Ki in my arms – it’s just – anyway.
I just need to look at my notes for a second.
Back to that day.
Nobody was in the mood to do that long drive to the airport so we decide just to get the tube. We leave the flat and next thing I know we were sitting on the tube looking at each other’s faces, waiting for it to leave Elephant and Castle station. Then we were off. The train was racing down the tracks and hitting all the stops quickly because hardly no one was getting on at that time in the morning. Ki and Curt had their bags on their laps and were quiet, just staring ahead, their eyes doing that flicking thing as the stops rushed by. Every now and then a couple of people got on. They were either workmen on their way to a building site mainly, or every now and then a late night raver just getting home, eyes still like glass from the E’s.
We get to Piccadilly Circus then we change lines to the dark blue line to take us to Heathrow. The platforms are filling up a bit as we get off so we have to bundle our ways past the crowds which are like the London crowds everyone knows. Some drunk people. Some homeless people. Some students. Some working people. Small pieces of the whole world right there underground. We cross to the right platform then wait a minute before the tube comes into view and finally screeches to a stop. We still ain’t said a word and as we get on and find seats next to each other we still don’t do more than just look at each other until the train pulls away again.
We watch the stations flit by one by one. Green Park, Hyde Park Corner, Knightsbridge, South Kensington. All these names which don’t mean nothing to people like us except richness. A kind of richness that even money won’t ever get us closer to. We know the names and we know the places, but we ain’t invited.
Then as we pull up to Earl’s Court in the corner of my eye I see a boy waiting to get on with a girl. It doesn’t mean anything to me. Just another couple. Then as the doors were waiting to open, I notice Curt start to stiffen. ‘Fuck,’ he goes, ‘I know that boy.’
The doors open and the boy gets on with his girl behind him. Curt buries his head in his giant paws but anyone who met Curt even once knows that he is impossible to miss. It was like an elephant trying to hide himself with his trunk. The boy saunters in and then sits opposite us with his legs wide open. He has on an Avirex flying jacket which makes him look bulked up on top, but you could tell by his stick legs that there weren’t nothing underneath that leather. The girl he’s with is all heels and short dress. It’s obvious that they’ve just been out clubbing somewhere. They have that dazed half-drunk, half-whacked-out-on-E’s look about them. Suddenly the boy notices Curt.
‘Yo,’ he says and leans over with his arm out and touches Curt on the knee.
Curt pretends like he’s noticed him for the first time and says ‘hi’ by nodding at him. The boy takes this as a sign and gets up and sits next to him.
‘Dread you know mans scoping you on the street. Bare people looking for you.’
Curt shrugs as if to signal he ain’t interested but the boy can’t be stopped. ‘Even your General’s putting words out. Where you been at?’
Curt folds his arms and gives out this look that could knock a person down.
‘Hey that ain’t even my crew no more man. I ain’t no one’s soldier you get me?’