75 лучших рассказов / 75 Best Short Stories

‘I said: “If I have the thing at all, I want the best that can be got.” That’s my way, you know, Swordsley; I suppose I’m what you’d call fastidious. Always was, about everything, from cigars to wom—’ his eye met the apprehensive glance of Mrs. Swordsley, who looked like her husband with his clerical coat cut slightly lower – ‘so I said: “If I have the thing at all, I want the best that can be got.” Nothing makeshift for me, no second-best. I never cared for the cheap and showy. I always say frankly to a man: “If you can’t give me a first-rate cigar, for the Lord’s sake let me smoke my own.”’ He paused to do so. ‘Well, if you have my standards, you can’t buy a thing in a minute. You must look round, compare, select. I found there were lots of motor-boats on the market, just as there’s lots of stuff called champagne. But I said to myself: “Ten to one there’s only one fit to buy, just as there’s only one champagne fit for a gentleman to drink.” Argued like a lawyer, eh, Austin?’ He tossed this to Wrayford. ‘Take me for one of your own trade, wouldn’t you? Well, I’m not such a fool as I look. I suppose you fellows who are tied to the treadmill – excuse me, Swordsley, but work’s work, isn’t it? – I suppose you think a man like me has nothing to do but take it easy: loll through life like a woman. By George, sir, I’d like either of you to see the time it takes – I won’t say the brain – but just the time it takes to pick out a good motor-boat. Why, I went—’

Mrs. Stilling set her embroidery-frame noiselessly on the table at her side, and turned her head toward Wrayford. ‘Would you mind ringing for the tray?’

The interruption helped Mrs. Swordsley to waver to her feet. ‘I’m afraid we ought really to be going; my husband has an early service to-morrow.’

Her host intervened with a genial protest. ‘Going already? Nothing of the sort! Why, the night’s still young, as the poet says. Long way from here to the rectory? Nonsense! In our little twenty-horse car we do it in five minutes – don’t we, Belle? Ah, you’re walking, to be sure—’ Stilling’s indulgent gesture seemed to concede that, in such a case, allowances must be made, and that he was the last man not to make them. ‘Well, then, Swordsley—’ He held out a thick red hand that seemed to exude beneficence, and the clergyman, pressing it, ventured to murmur a suggestion.

‘What, that Galahad Club again? Why, I thought my wife – Isabel, didn’t we – No? Well, it must have been my mother, then. Of course, you know, anything my good mother gives is – well – virtually – You haven’t asked her? Sure? I could have sworn; I get so many of these appeals. And in these times, you know, we have to go cautiously. I’m sure you recognize that yourself, Swordsley. With my obligations – here now, to show you don’t bear malice, have a brandy and soda before you go. Nonsense, man! This brandy isn’t liquor; it’s liqueur. I picked it up last year in London – last of a famous lot from Lord St. Oswyn’s cellar. Laid down here, it stood me at – Eh?’ he broke off as his wife moved toward him. ‘Ah, yes, of course. Miss Lucy, Miss Agnes – a drop of soda-water? Look here, Addison, you won’t refuse my tipple, I know. Well, take a cigar, at any rate, Swordsley. And, by the way, I’m afraid you’ll have to go round the long way by the avenue to-night. Sorry, Mrs. Swordsley, but I forgot to tell them to leave the gate into the lane unlocked. Well, it’s a jolly night, and I daresay you won’t mind the extra turn along the lake. And, by Jove! if the moon’s out, you’ll have a glimpse of the motorboat. She’s moored just out beyond our boat-house; and it’s a privilege to look at her, I can tell you!’